The Land of If Only...

Do you ever get sucked into the Land of "If only..."? You know, the "if only I had ...." or If only I were.... or If only they.... or If only we.... or If only God.... What a trap those thoughts are! How much life do we waste by living in the Land of "If Only!"

I have lived in that land over and over in my lifetime. From silly decisions like not wearing sleeveless tops to postponing a fun outing with friends because I was dwelling in If Only Land, just waiting on my arms to get more toned or tanned or to lose that last 10 pounds! I've missed opportunities because I couldn't open the gate of If Only Land and walk out of it thinking, if only I had such and such or looked like so and so and the opportunity went sailing by with someone else at the helm.

Why do we do that! Why do we dream of greener grass or better times or allow ourselves to postpone life because of the if only trap? Why do we rob ourselves of peace and joy and fun and adventure in the name of what if's or if only's?? Is it pride, is it fear, is it laziness? Is it a smokescreen to hide insecurity or is it peer pressure? Stepping out of it to gain some perspective, the Land of If Only is really more like a prison cell...it's walls that have bars but a view to the other side. The door seems locked with keys just beyond our reach.

What do I mean by that? Well let's look at the first wall...

1. Fear -- fear is a big wall - fear disguises itself in many forms - it can be obvious fears - failure, change, loss, etc. or it could be fear of success, accountability, and the unknown...Fears can be realistic or unrealistic but they are paralyzing. Fear is a key holder in the land of if only. Fear holds its victims hostage, in a prison of constant unrest. If you imagine a prison cell with 3 walls of bars and a solid block wall with a window - fear would be the block wall...it's extremely difficult to break the wall of fear down in the Land of If Only, but here's a key...

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7 (NLT)

2. Pride - like fear, pride is a master of disguise and deception but a difficult wall to break through. Pride can be boastful and self serving but it can also be undermining and self-deprecating. How so? because both focus on self...if we postpone something because we don't want to appear less than adequate, that's pride - the focus is on self and pleasing man. Pride and fear are closely tied to one another. No wonder God hates them. They are paralyzing. Most of us understand the "puffed up" side of pride, but we never pause to learn about the "deflated" side of it. This is what I call the "spirit of < (less than)". When we allow ourselves to feel less than others or beneath a situation, this is false pride not humility. True humility understands its strengths and weaknesses objectively but false pride is a constant put down and in the land of "if only" false pride is alive and well. False pride causes a person to want more but not chase it, and then complain about not having it, which can lead to a spirit of entitlement. In the Land of If Only, pride can lead to permanent residence...but here is a key...

 "Where there is strife, there is pride, but wisdom is found
in those who take advice." Proverbs 13:10 (NIV)

3. Insecurity - If fear and pride were parents,  their offspring would be insecurity and entitlement. Insecurity is born out of a lack of trust or a loss of trust. It's rooted in fear and false pride and for a believer, it is sin. Insecurity can become an idol (functional god) in our lives if we let it. Insecure people lack the ability to trust themselves, others and God. A person with a bad case of "if only's" is grossly insecure. Insecure people blame others for their own inadequacies. Paralyzed by the fear of failure or success, an insecure person will remain trapped and ineffective, never stepping into the fullness of what they could be - but instead, dwell in the Land of If Only for a lifetime, wishing and hoping their lives away.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."
Proverbs 3:5-6(NASB)

4. Entitlement - Entitlement is the sister to insecurity. Entitlement is the more vocal side of insecurity. Entitlement is rooted in pride and is a trap laid by the enemy to cause us to feel as though we deserve more than we've been given and rob us of the joy of living in peace with ourselves and our neighbors. In the Land of If Only, entitlement causes us to believe the lie that the world is against us and that we're the victims of unfairness in society. When we subscribe to this belief system, we can lose not only our will to achieve, but the desire to become all that God intended. Placing blame on others or victimizing ourselves subscribes to false pride and an elevated sense of self and causes much confusion, stress, anger and discord both internally and externally. Consider this key...

"What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us”?" James 4:1-23 (ESV)

5. Lies - The foundation this prison cell in the Land of If Only is found in the lies we believe. When we believe the lies of the enemy that we are less than, more than, not enough, victims, and entitled to more, we have allowed the foundation of the Land of If Only to take root in our souls. Satan is the author of lies, the founder of fear, the president of pride and the master of insecurity and the CEO of entitlement. His agenda is to steal our joy, kill our spirits and destroy our reputations and for the unbeliever - he has your name on his list to carry you straight to hell to dwell with him for all eternity. Lies can appear to be appealing and satisfying. They tickle our ears with flattery and false hope. They seize our desires by causing them to appear as though they are more than their truth. They choke out hope and destroy confidence. The sad truth about lies is that once they are revealed, the damage has already been done. The Land of If Only is landscaped with lies, but here's an important key... our minds are a playground for the lies of the enemy. Self and our sin nature causes us to believe those lies and it all started with Adam, Eve, the Serpent and a tree...(see Genesis 3)

"You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father's desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies." John 8:44 (NIV)

So how do we leave the Land of If Only? First, we have to grab hold of the truth and assess why we are there. This will require a realistic assessment of the lies we believe, and confessing what walls are holding us prisoner - fear, pride, insecurity, or entitlement.  Next will be the battle of the mind - shifting our minds with the truth of the Gospel allows us to gain new perspective, not only on God's will for our lives, but gives us great power over the lies of the enemy - this is vital into leaving the Land of If Only. Once we access the power of the Holy Spirit, we have weapons of Scripture to dispel the lies. Once we have accessed these two major powers, we are on our way. We must put on our spiritual armor (see Ephesians 6:10-18) and wear it all the time - the enemy has no plan for our escape, but we are victors when we place our trust in Christ. The shoes of the Good News of the Gospel give us the foothold to step through the pathway of lies. The helmet of salvation protects our minds where the great battle rages in our thought processes, the breastplate of righteousness covers our hearts and protects our spirits when we get discouraged and want to recoil in fear. The belt of truth holds the armor in place so we are able to stand firm in our journey and the sword of the Spirit pierces the darkness and cuts through the fog of deception, doubt and fear and the shield of faith gives us protection when the fires rage and the self doubt creeps in and we grow weak from the wounds and weary from the journey...Finally, Jesus holds the keys to the gate. He is the only way to escape the Land of If Only forever. He holds the keys to redemption, healing, hope and we gain access to these keys by believing Him, His Word and placing our trust fully in Him to care for our souls, ourselves and those we love.


Do you want to leave the Land of If Only? Do you even realize you've been living there? Take hold of the truth today and realize that if only's are only lies in disguise. If only's cause us misery, pain and to miss out on the abundant life Jesus came to give us. Abundant living isn't about having the latest, greatest or being perfect or the best or most of anything. It's the peace of knowing and trusting Him, His will and honoring Him by enjoying the life we have before us even in the midst of trials.

So throw on that armor and get moving...and if it's sleeveless, show off those guns - perfectly toned, tan OR NOT!! Have a great weekend!! Amy