Well, friends - I have had a breakthrough today!! I am so excited to share this because it's been troubling me for quite some time...is it earth shattering? Well, for me it is. For you? Maybe - just maybe there's something in this post that will open your eyes to what God has been trying to say for such a long time but you just haven't been able to hear or see it...oh I hope so!! I'd love to shout to the rooftops with you too!!
I'm leading Priscilla Shirer's study of "Gideon" both in my Sunday school class and in my Wednesday night discipleship class. This study grows up the superhero we learned about as children and makes it relevant to the day to day living that we "regular" folks go through - the fears, the frustrations and the impossible situations that we sometimes find ourselves in parallel the life of Gideon and the Midianites.
I'm also reading a wonderful book, "The Circle Maker", by Mark Batterson which challenges me to deepen my prayer life and strengthen my faith with big dreams and God's power. The book is really amazing and the accounts of God's power in the lives of people facing impossible situations is truly fascinating and encouraging every time I turn the page.
As I read through the material for this week's study and covered a chapter in "The Circle Maker" during my lunch break, I prayed that God would reveal some answers to questions I've been asking for a while now and what happened felt like a collision of questions, answers, connections and curiosities that have been weighing heavily on my heart for some time! Praise the Lord -- the freedom that is coming in this discovery is lightening the load and giving me the focus that I've wanted and needed for so very long!!!
So as I make an attempt to explain this without going all crazy, I hope that it will be a blessing to you, my dear readers and friends. Here goes:
Recently, a young artist was asked to step out of his play "set" to do a number with another group. It was a familiar tune but not one he had written or performed before but one that he certainly would have had no trouble doing and probably would have had fun in doing so. His reply to this request was, "I'm so sorry, I can't do that - I get paid to not mess up." Now, I have to tell you - this young artist's reply has been a fly in my ointment since I heard it. I haven't been able to get away from it! I shared it with friends and family and those who are in my classes and while many expressed their dismay at this young man's arrogance or short sightedness at an opportunity to stretch his wings a little, I never really felt that way toward him. I felt a lot of things -- the first thing I did was internalize it and feel bad for making mistakes myself and found myself wondering if that's why I don't earn a living singing (believe me, this line of thinking is something I struggle with all the time and I hate it more than anyone!) The next thing I did was feel so sorry for him. I thought how confined he must feel that he can only sing songs when they have worn out their welcome (he's sick of them) or he can only sing songs that are on his current album or songs that are on the Hot 100 list that his label has given him permission to sing -- or maybe because he's trying to support his family by singing for a living the fear of losing his record deal by messing up and the terms of this deal require him to be perfect 100% of the time on stage - any stage...for an artist that just doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun or freedom in my opinion and I wonder how long he can live in that cage.
I thought how limited he must be with regard to his calling to minister through music. Is he thinking that people won't buy his music anymore if he forgets a word or misses a note or his voice cracks or if he is sick and his voice just isn't up to par? What if God says, "Sing to me a new song" in the middle of a concert -- will he hear God's request or refuse because his paycheck depends upon "not messing up". See what I mean?!? I just couldn't let this go because of my tendency to overthink things!
But in today's reading, God showed me that I do the very same thing - but rather than attaching a paycheck to it, I put myself in a cage using age, weight, lack of finances, responsibilities, loyalty, etc. as excuses to "not fail" or "not dream big" anymore. And then there's the "do it in the name of" stuff! You know -- I'm going to keep doing the same things because I always have or said I don't have time to or any number of cliches that help me to bow out of stepping into something amazing with the Lord.
I know so many in my reading audience who would say - no way! Amy, you live by faith every day and God has given you opportunities that I'd never have -- and I'd have to agree with you -- but here's the deal, I've made excuses out of fear and my heart's longings have been paralyzed because of fear and probably laced with pride too if the truth were known. If I've messed up (whether it's on the stage or just in life in general - I've made excuses and tried to justify my way out of it). I've blamed my weight, my past, my family, my circumstances and have even tossed the ball in God's court saying that it wasn't "His will" or I don't feel His move in this direction for far too long and yet, the dream never goes away and yet, here I am still running on the same hamster ring wishing and hoping. It's no different than what this young artist is saying -- "I get paid to not mess up" -- I'm saying in my own way -- "I get justified to not step out in faith" -- I get blessed by staying in my box --and a whole host of other ones -- which just boil down to sad excuses. And today God gave me freedom -- real freedom! He threw me keys to unlock the chamber doors of my heart to know Him deeper and trust Him more and He gave me the truth I needed to see.
Here's what He showed me -- In Judges 7:5-6, God told Gideon to bring the people to the water and gave him specific instructions as to what to look for in the warriors that would remain. 32,000 people had already been whittled down to 10,000 to fight against the Midianite army of over 145,000. The number who were left after Gideon saw in them what God said to keep was only 300 - yes ONLY 300! God needed warriors who were fully committed and not distracted from their calling by their desires of their flesh (functional gods, comfort zones, modern day idols - ouch)! Unfocused warriors can contaminate and discourage others by fear and lack of unity (fear and perfectionism, fear and materialism, blah blah blah)...what God was testing here was the alertness of the warriors, focused and unified.
Application to Amy: In the past year, God has begun whittling away things in my life that have been distractions to my calling. Toxic relationships, material possessions, excess junk, thought patterns, attitudes, obligations, etc. But there's still more that needs to go with the new challenges before me. I've prayed more fervently and specifically with regard to two areas of my life and wanted clarity with regard to His will in those areas. Today, He showed me specifically how to whittle the distractions away in order to conquer one major obstacle and specific contacts to make with regard to another. I cannot tell you how long I have prayed over these two areas -- years!! But in praying over them, I've never prayed really believing for an answer. I've prayed, "Lord, if it be your will, then make it happen" so many times that I'm sure it seemed to the Lord as if I was rubbing the lamp of a genie or just throwing my request in His Hands without being willing to see or hear what steps would be made to see these areas change. But today was different. I prayed a simple prayer - Lord, show me the way, reveal the areas that need to change and lead me into the fullness of your calling on my life!" It doesn't really sound so different but here's the kicker -- in praying that prayer, rather than just handing it over in desperation - I kept my eyes open, looking and believing God for an answer and there it was - right before my eyes!!
God showed me distractions that needed to be removed and applications to be added to win the battle. He revealed to me the reason for the blessing of hearing this young artist's comment was because of the contacts that He brought into my life - had I not been in that place, those contacts would not have been made and that comment would not have been heard...it's also a reminder to be excellent but never let my paycheck ride on being perfect...that's just not possible - in any occupation...and only maturity will teach that lesson...well, that and many opportunities to fail...oh the joy of those lessons!
The last words I wrote in my lesson for this quick lunch break study today were: Let go, Let go - Let's go!! My directives were clear - 4 of the 6 things God told me to let go are : excess junk (thoughts, stuff, mindsets), over-thinking, pursuit of perfectionism (body, performance, life) and excess technology time (facebook, games, TV, obligations I'm not called to, etc.). If I can give up these areas that rob my time and space and fill them with more time in His Word, more time to practice, exercise, etc. Then I'll have room in my heart for the things He loves and more room in my jeans as well as be better equipped for the opportunities that lie ahead. If I can give up the junk that has no meaning anymore to me (whether physical junk, spiritual junk or obligations I'm not called to do anymore), I'll have room for the things I love and new opportunities that He provides that bring glory to Him. He gave me questions to ask of those he's put in my sphere of His family.
He showed me that age has no bearing on being used of Him and neither does weight or physical or mental handicap either... Earthly labels mean absolutely nothing to God. I read an interview with singer, Susan Boyle, who was diagnosed with Asberger's (a form of autism) and she said that finally she has the freedom to let others know that she's not defined by this. It gives people a chance to know who she is and how she is created and it gives the public and opportunity to know more about this syndrome. She says that she lived with labels and was trapped and discouraged for years and years and never found freedom from them until she was diagnosed at 51 years of age. That struck me amazingly because I will be 51 in June of this year.
I think what I received today is a diagnosis from my Great Physician and the freedom to no longer be defined by my limitations but by the simple truth that I'm His child. I don't have to strive to be anything more than my this to receive His favor and blessing. I don't have to worry about not getting paid if I mess up, because His grace is unending and forgiveness was bought at the cross of Jesus. I don't have to be perfect because His perfection is found in my imperfection. I don't have to be strong because His strength is made more powerful in my weakness. I don't have to wear the world's labels because I wear the crown of righteousness bought with the price of the blood of Jesus.
We serve an amazing God whose thoughts are not our thoughts and whose ways are not our ways - in fact, they are light years away from our own. He delights in those He loves - He dances over us with joy!! He sings over us while we sleep and He holds our tears in His own hands when this old world is unkind to us. The enemy is under His feet and His Son, Jesus crushed him with defeat when He died on Calvary and rose from the grave.
So, my friend, your breakthrough is coming -- keep seeking God with all your heart...your breakthrough is guaranteed to be different than mine and will change your life and direction if need be. Allow God to whittle away the warriors in your life and rest assured that the "300" He leaves will be your secret weapon for it's there that God's strength will take over and will use that to bring victory in your life. Ask yourself, is my dream too big and overwhelming? If it's not, then dream bigger - because if your dream is something that can be accomplished by human strength - that's not God's dream -- I'm not talking about name it claim it dreams that are self seeking and self serving -- I'm talking about the kind where God gets credit -- the stuff that Heaven cheers over...the conquering of strongholds, the defeat of the enemy, the transformation of lives, the salvation of the lost...and so much more!
Thank you for reading this and walking through this journey with me...it means the world!!
Take a walk through Judges 6, 7 and 8 to remember Gideon today if you have time and if you need a little more challenge to your prayer life -- I highly recommend "The Circle Maker" by Mark Batterson.
Blessings my friends!! Till next time...Amy
I'm leading Priscilla Shirer's study of "Gideon" both in my Sunday school class and in my Wednesday night discipleship class. This study grows up the superhero we learned about as children and makes it relevant to the day to day living that we "regular" folks go through - the fears, the frustrations and the impossible situations that we sometimes find ourselves in parallel the life of Gideon and the Midianites.
I'm also reading a wonderful book, "The Circle Maker", by Mark Batterson which challenges me to deepen my prayer life and strengthen my faith with big dreams and God's power. The book is really amazing and the accounts of God's power in the lives of people facing impossible situations is truly fascinating and encouraging every time I turn the page.
As I read through the material for this week's study and covered a chapter in "The Circle Maker" during my lunch break, I prayed that God would reveal some answers to questions I've been asking for a while now and what happened felt like a collision of questions, answers, connections and curiosities that have been weighing heavily on my heart for some time! Praise the Lord -- the freedom that is coming in this discovery is lightening the load and giving me the focus that I've wanted and needed for so very long!!!
So as I make an attempt to explain this without going all crazy, I hope that it will be a blessing to you, my dear readers and friends. Here goes:
Recently, a young artist was asked to step out of his play "set" to do a number with another group. It was a familiar tune but not one he had written or performed before but one that he certainly would have had no trouble doing and probably would have had fun in doing so. His reply to this request was, "I'm so sorry, I can't do that - I get paid to not mess up." Now, I have to tell you - this young artist's reply has been a fly in my ointment since I heard it. I haven't been able to get away from it! I shared it with friends and family and those who are in my classes and while many expressed their dismay at this young man's arrogance or short sightedness at an opportunity to stretch his wings a little, I never really felt that way toward him. I felt a lot of things -- the first thing I did was internalize it and feel bad for making mistakes myself and found myself wondering if that's why I don't earn a living singing (believe me, this line of thinking is something I struggle with all the time and I hate it more than anyone!) The next thing I did was feel so sorry for him. I thought how confined he must feel that he can only sing songs when they have worn out their welcome (he's sick of them) or he can only sing songs that are on his current album or songs that are on the Hot 100 list that his label has given him permission to sing -- or maybe because he's trying to support his family by singing for a living the fear of losing his record deal by messing up and the terms of this deal require him to be perfect 100% of the time on stage - any stage...for an artist that just doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun or freedom in my opinion and I wonder how long he can live in that cage.
I thought how limited he must be with regard to his calling to minister through music. Is he thinking that people won't buy his music anymore if he forgets a word or misses a note or his voice cracks or if he is sick and his voice just isn't up to par? What if God says, "Sing to me a new song" in the middle of a concert -- will he hear God's request or refuse because his paycheck depends upon "not messing up". See what I mean?!? I just couldn't let this go because of my tendency to overthink things!
But in today's reading, God showed me that I do the very same thing - but rather than attaching a paycheck to it, I put myself in a cage using age, weight, lack of finances, responsibilities, loyalty, etc. as excuses to "not fail" or "not dream big" anymore. And then there's the "do it in the name of" stuff! You know -- I'm going to keep doing the same things because I always have or said I don't have time to or any number of cliches that help me to bow out of stepping into something amazing with the Lord.
I know so many in my reading audience who would say - no way! Amy, you live by faith every day and God has given you opportunities that I'd never have -- and I'd have to agree with you -- but here's the deal, I've made excuses out of fear and my heart's longings have been paralyzed because of fear and probably laced with pride too if the truth were known. If I've messed up (whether it's on the stage or just in life in general - I've made excuses and tried to justify my way out of it). I've blamed my weight, my past, my family, my circumstances and have even tossed the ball in God's court saying that it wasn't "His will" or I don't feel His move in this direction for far too long and yet, the dream never goes away and yet, here I am still running on the same hamster ring wishing and hoping. It's no different than what this young artist is saying -- "I get paid to not mess up" -- I'm saying in my own way -- "I get justified to not step out in faith" -- I get blessed by staying in my box --and a whole host of other ones -- which just boil down to sad excuses. And today God gave me freedom -- real freedom! He threw me keys to unlock the chamber doors of my heart to know Him deeper and trust Him more and He gave me the truth I needed to see.
Here's what He showed me -- In Judges 7:5-6, God told Gideon to bring the people to the water and gave him specific instructions as to what to look for in the warriors that would remain. 32,000 people had already been whittled down to 10,000 to fight against the Midianite army of over 145,000. The number who were left after Gideon saw in them what God said to keep was only 300 - yes ONLY 300! God needed warriors who were fully committed and not distracted from their calling by their desires of their flesh (functional gods, comfort zones, modern day idols - ouch)! Unfocused warriors can contaminate and discourage others by fear and lack of unity (fear and perfectionism, fear and materialism, blah blah blah)...what God was testing here was the alertness of the warriors, focused and unified.
Application to Amy: In the past year, God has begun whittling away things in my life that have been distractions to my calling. Toxic relationships, material possessions, excess junk, thought patterns, attitudes, obligations, etc. But there's still more that needs to go with the new challenges before me. I've prayed more fervently and specifically with regard to two areas of my life and wanted clarity with regard to His will in those areas. Today, He showed me specifically how to whittle the distractions away in order to conquer one major obstacle and specific contacts to make with regard to another. I cannot tell you how long I have prayed over these two areas -- years!! But in praying over them, I've never prayed really believing for an answer. I've prayed, "Lord, if it be your will, then make it happen" so many times that I'm sure it seemed to the Lord as if I was rubbing the lamp of a genie or just throwing my request in His Hands without being willing to see or hear what steps would be made to see these areas change. But today was different. I prayed a simple prayer - Lord, show me the way, reveal the areas that need to change and lead me into the fullness of your calling on my life!" It doesn't really sound so different but here's the kicker -- in praying that prayer, rather than just handing it over in desperation - I kept my eyes open, looking and believing God for an answer and there it was - right before my eyes!!
God showed me distractions that needed to be removed and applications to be added to win the battle. He revealed to me the reason for the blessing of hearing this young artist's comment was because of the contacts that He brought into my life - had I not been in that place, those contacts would not have been made and that comment would not have been heard...it's also a reminder to be excellent but never let my paycheck ride on being perfect...that's just not possible - in any occupation...and only maturity will teach that lesson...well, that and many opportunities to fail...oh the joy of those lessons!
The last words I wrote in my lesson for this quick lunch break study today were: Let go, Let go - Let's go!! My directives were clear - 4 of the 6 things God told me to let go are : excess junk (thoughts, stuff, mindsets), over-thinking, pursuit of perfectionism (body, performance, life) and excess technology time (facebook, games, TV, obligations I'm not called to, etc.). If I can give up these areas that rob my time and space and fill them with more time in His Word, more time to practice, exercise, etc. Then I'll have room in my heart for the things He loves and more room in my jeans as well as be better equipped for the opportunities that lie ahead. If I can give up the junk that has no meaning anymore to me (whether physical junk, spiritual junk or obligations I'm not called to do anymore), I'll have room for the things I love and new opportunities that He provides that bring glory to Him. He gave me questions to ask of those he's put in my sphere of His family.
He showed me that age has no bearing on being used of Him and neither does weight or physical or mental handicap either... Earthly labels mean absolutely nothing to God. I read an interview with singer, Susan Boyle, who was diagnosed with Asberger's (a form of autism) and she said that finally she has the freedom to let others know that she's not defined by this. It gives people a chance to know who she is and how she is created and it gives the public and opportunity to know more about this syndrome. She says that she lived with labels and was trapped and discouraged for years and years and never found freedom from them until she was diagnosed at 51 years of age. That struck me amazingly because I will be 51 in June of this year.
I think what I received today is a diagnosis from my Great Physician and the freedom to no longer be defined by my limitations but by the simple truth that I'm His child. I don't have to strive to be anything more than my this to receive His favor and blessing. I don't have to worry about not getting paid if I mess up, because His grace is unending and forgiveness was bought at the cross of Jesus. I don't have to be perfect because His perfection is found in my imperfection. I don't have to be strong because His strength is made more powerful in my weakness. I don't have to wear the world's labels because I wear the crown of righteousness bought with the price of the blood of Jesus.
We serve an amazing God whose thoughts are not our thoughts and whose ways are not our ways - in fact, they are light years away from our own. He delights in those He loves - He dances over us with joy!! He sings over us while we sleep and He holds our tears in His own hands when this old world is unkind to us. The enemy is under His feet and His Son, Jesus crushed him with defeat when He died on Calvary and rose from the grave.
So, my friend, your breakthrough is coming -- keep seeking God with all your heart...your breakthrough is guaranteed to be different than mine and will change your life and direction if need be. Allow God to whittle away the warriors in your life and rest assured that the "300" He leaves will be your secret weapon for it's there that God's strength will take over and will use that to bring victory in your life. Ask yourself, is my dream too big and overwhelming? If it's not, then dream bigger - because if your dream is something that can be accomplished by human strength - that's not God's dream -- I'm not talking about name it claim it dreams that are self seeking and self serving -- I'm talking about the kind where God gets credit -- the stuff that Heaven cheers over...the conquering of strongholds, the defeat of the enemy, the transformation of lives, the salvation of the lost...and so much more!
Thank you for reading this and walking through this journey with me...it means the world!!
Take a walk through Judges 6, 7 and 8 to remember Gideon today if you have time and if you need a little more challenge to your prayer life -- I highly recommend "The Circle Maker" by Mark Batterson.
Blessings my friends!! Till next time...Amy
