What is it about Food?

For the past month I've been trying to eat healthier with the hope of losing some weight that I gained from the sedentary lifestyle of being a seminary student and the cold winter months that make me just want to stay inside and eat carbs. I can honestly say that my flesh is screaming and angry about it too.

I didn't make a New Year's resolution to lose weight or exercise more - just didn't want to start the New Year off with a lie. I didn't join a monthly weight loss subscription program until my husband visited his doctor and was told he could get off some of his meds if he'd lose weight and get off sugar...good advice for me too...but I have failed and failed miserably on this subscription plan and have grown to resent it.



I read an article posted by a friend addressing the issue of food and the outward appearance of being overweight as affecting our testimony as Christians. This article was written to pastors by another pastor who had fought the battle of weight and food addiction and was spoken out of sincere love and concern for pastors to be accountable as leaders of their flocks and to lead by example. He addressed some areas of focus that I thought were good - but he left out one important component that I'm going to address in this blog. I'll put the link to his article at the bottom of this page. 

The one area he didn't address was how food can be an idol. You might be thinking, how on earth could food be an idol?!? Well, let's look at the definition of idolatry - the worship of a physical object as a god 2. immoderate attachment or devotion to something (Source https://www.Merriam-Webster.com/dictionary/idolatry). Now we may not be bowing down and saying prayers to our Big Mac or Sonic tea, but look at the words "immoderate attachment or devotion" -- wow! How often do we say we can't start the day without our coffee (substitute any drink or food here) or we're not functional? How often do we coin phrases to include food? How much time do we spend shopping for, preparing, eating, storing, cleaning up, dining out? How about the money? If we analyzed our spending, how much of it goes toward the purchase of food/drink? We post pictures of our food more than pictures of our loved ones. We post pictures of ourselves dining out or enjoying drinks with friends. We celebrate with food on any occasion -- happy or sad...and the snack industry contributes to the world economy at an alarming rate.

The truth is, we are immersed in a culture where food is a god. There are networks devoted to shows about food 24/7/365. There are restaurants of every kind popping up seemingly everywhere and now smart entrepreneurs are even renovating RVs and campers into food trucks to go to the customer in the name of free enterprise. 

I could bore you to tears with statistics and diagrams, but I think you get the point. Food is a functional god - Food is not bad - but if our focus is more centered on food than it is on glorifying God, then it's likely we have made food a functional god - idol.

This is not something new or earth shattering - but it's a call to accountability because what I see in the diet industry is the same focus on food as a functional god. If you eat this, you'll lose weight. If you keep up with "this many points" per day you will have freedom from food...again, the focus is on what goes in your mouth much more than the words that come out of it or the spiritual food of Scripture.

We have fallen victim to the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil in our idolatry of food. It was food that the serpent used to tempt Eve to sin. It was food that Eve used to tempt Adam too...and it's been food since that time. Jesus was tempted by the enemy in the area of food too - Jesus was tempted by the enemy in the area of food too but he was victorious over it and remained sinless even in great hunger after a 40 day fast in the wilderness - "The tempter came to Him and said, “If You are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.” But Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.” Matthew 3:3-4

So the $1,000,000 question is this - how do we lay down an idol that sustains us and keeps us alive? How do shift our focus away from it and toward a Holy God? I think it starts with a heart of true repentance. I think it's also a matter of confession too - laying it at the cross and surrendering it daily, hourly, minute by minute if necessary.

I am absolutely an idolater when it comes to food - call me a foodie, call me an addict, call me whatever you want - my outward symptoms of carrying excess weight tell it all. I love healthy food, I love junk food, I love high fat, low fat, and all in between. I enjoy meals with friends or quiet times dining alone - and I don't mind a drive thru dinner in the car occasionally either. I'm also guilty by choice - no one has made me do this, it's not my past wounds or difficult childhood - I just like food of all kinds! But I'm also angry about it...angry at myself, angry that the enemy has a hold on me in this area and that I am not using the power of self-control - a heavy-weight fruit of the Spirit.

I hope that this blog post will rally the troops -- those of you, who, like me, may be carrying extra weight around (or not), who love to eat good food, who cannot blame anything other than that on the extra pounds - to figure out a way beyond this stupid gazillion dollar diet industry to lay this life strangling idol down at the cross for good.

I'm so mad at the money I've spent on diets and books and online "freedom" plans that don't work. I am so angry about failing with this subscription diet plan because it's put my focus even more on food because all day long I have to put what I eat in their online diary and calculate the points I have consumed to absolute nauseum. It's time consuming and expensive and my rebellious spirit just doesn't like giving part of my day to it. I'm beyond exhausted of the cycle of defeat I feel when I step on the scale every week to see that I've lost and gained the same 4 pounds over and over. And yes, I'm tired of carrying around the evidence of my idolatry around in the form of excess weight, hurting joints and the prison of shame because of it.

I'm guilty as charged. But as I face this coming weekend where Jesus conquered Death and Hell and gave His life for my sins so that I could live eternally for and with Him, I find a renewed sense of responsibility to live it out on a greater platform - because I know I'm not alone in this battle. I KNOW there are people who are victorious in this who are out there who desire to pull others out of the muck of idolatry and mostly, I am responsible for living a life that glorifies my Father in all areas of my life - but in this area of my life, I am weak and I know He is made strong in my weakness.

We can call it food addiction if we want to - but the reality is we can fast for a short time, but we can't stop eating altogether - and that's what makes this such a hard thing for many of us. We are encouraged not to waste food and for some, we do pacify feelings or satisfy our stress overload by eating but the fact remains, food is still a very real part of our lives.

The pastor that wrote the article that I mentioned earlier was sincere in his appeal to those who shepherd the flock as ministers. He was right that they should lead by example - but the truth is, any of us who bear the name of Jesus as Christians should also lead by example - not out of self-glorification of having perfect bodies as we stand before those under our care - but in being real and transparent with our struggles and working to exhibit and use all the fruits of the Spirit, including self-control over all things, not just food.

I'm being painfully transparent here but I'm asking for help from those of you who have been more than conquerors in this area. I don't want diet advice - I want to know how you gained freedom from loving food. How did you gain power of self-control over it? What steps did you take to gain the confidence through Christ to overcome the power that food has over your mind, body and soul?

I'm asking you to pray for me and for each other as we seek to be whole and lay down this functional god in our lives. I am also asking for those who have been more than conquerors to offer a hand of brotherhood to those who struggle.

Here's the link I promised if you want to read more: 4 Tough Questions Every Pastor Needs to Ask

Praying for y'all! Let's learn to walk in Victory! Amy

Who Is It that Discouraged you?

I don't know if it's the time change, too much caffeine or if it's just the change of seasons, but I have had a busy mind these last few nights and just haven't slept well. Sometimes when I have trouble sleeping, the Lord will lay someone or something on my heart to pray over and as I pray I will fall into a very peaceful sleep - but last night it was the opposite. Even though I was asleep my mind seemed to be caught in a circle of wanderings and wonderings about my past regrets and present pathways, leaving me feeling discouraged, frustrated and sad.

Suddenly the Lord startled me awake with a stern question - "Who is it that discouraged you, Amy?" My eyes opened and my heart was pounding and I knew it was my Father speaking. I must admit that at first it made me uneasy because of the tone of His voice - it wasn't angry, but it was firm as to address the seriousness of the matter. I just wasn't quite ready to name names because I feared something - whether it was the fear of His wrath on those who wounded His child or whether it was the harsh reality of seeing the pattern of those who discouraged me as providing protection for my own good... 

There are some in my past who I thought were trustworthy people of honor,  who would help me to catch the dream who, instead, crushed it and caused me to lose hope - there are others who never uttered a word of encouragement, which left me wondering if they were choosing to remain silent in order to spare me from their opinions or if they just didn't buy into my dream...either way, it still caused deep wounds that have not healed. I must admit I had to include myself  - and that rattles my cage a little bit. 

This verse came to mind - "If anyone causes one of these little ones--those who believe in me--to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea." Matthew 18:6 

We are responsible for our words and how we handle the dreams of others when they share something so precious with us. Dreams are intimate treasures that I believe are God-given. When we are only able to see things from a selfish or analytical standpoint, it seems logical to share reasons why a dream isn't possible - but God's Word is full of impossible situations - so if He gives the dream, can't He be trusted to see to that those dreams are fulfilled?

The memories and pain that I have carried because of the ones who have crushed my dreams (self-included) have been harder to forget and harder to forgive than any other challenge of my life. I'm certain I beat myself up more often than anyone for choices I've made and opportunities I should have taken. But the ones who have either vocally or silently crushed them have done greater damage than I have realized until today.

Another verse comes to mind - "For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places." Ephesians 6:12

Rest assured that the major enemy is Satan - he is the great dream crusher and discourager - but he's not very creative. He will use our weaknesses against us and they are usually the direct opposite of our spiritual gifts. One of my strongest spiritual gifts is encouragement/exhortation - the enemy knows that one of my weaknesses is discouragement/criticism. Words are my love language - and he uses words against me. He also likes to hold us captive in unforgiveness and bitterness.

Consider your own spiritual gifts and weaknesses - are they opposites? You can usually recognize that you have moved outside the Holy Spirit's guidance when your own behavior acts in direct opposition to your spiritual gifts or the fruits of the spirit. Those with great faith, can be paralyzed with great fear. Those with discernment can harbor harsh criticism and distrust. Administrators can become nit-picky and petty. Prophets can turn to unfair judgment and condemnation and become downright mean....and the list goes on. 

Never forget that the enemy will use your greatest weakness against you every. single. time...without fail. But the Holy Spirit is our Comforter and His Word encourages, admonishes and breathes truth over the lies that the enemy tells.

I've had to let go of the worry that naming names to God and simply obey Him in answering His question. And I'm working toward forgiveness by trusting Him to deal with those who have hurt me as He deals with me - after all I'm one of the guilty. I know that in His infinite mercy, He acts for my good and His glory. My lesson in all of this is to be honest with myself and with Him - not condemn or crush my dreams and to remember that people may hurt or crush my dreams, but it's not really flesh and blood - it's the lies of the enemy, Satan at the root of their harm.

Be encouraged, dear friend - if you are guilty of crushing your own dreams, or if you have been deeply wounded by another who has been unkind - take your hurts honestly to the Father and work through them and seek to forgive them and yourself. I never imagined He would be kind enough to jar me awake with such a question, but I'm glad He did. Facing the giant of my own self-defeating words has been a hard pill to swallow but has allowed me an opportunity to view it honestly, forgive myself and assess just how damaging the need for man's approval can be. The truth is, we are encouraged to seek wise counsel and ask advice from experts - but if we go to man before we seek counsel from the Lord then we've gotten things out of order.

Sometimes our need for a quick answer can cause more damage than good - especially in matters that are near and dear to us like dreams. Trusting God with our dreams requires great trust - and sometimes great patience too...

I'm still wrestling with this dream of mine - now it's become a matter of timing - but I still hope for a day when I will see the answers revealed...in the meantime, my newest assignment is to stop crushing my dreams and instead trust God with them.

Much love! Amy

You've Got a Friend

I love Spring time in the South! Everything starts turning green and the weather begins to warm up too...and of course the pollen wreaks havoc with clean cars, windows and allergies. But what I've noticed mostly is that as the days get longer, my outlook becomes more positive and I'm just happier. I get over my low moments more often and I tend to laugh more.

I'm a contemplative soul though and sometimes I'm inclined toward over thinking (I can hear my girlfriends laughing now - they know inclination is an understatement) - anyway.... there are times when I'm deeply affected by situations outside my control - it could be the horrific cruelty to animals that I see on social media, a sick or missing family member and the outcries for prayer by their loved ones or situations that come to me unexpectedly. It's during those times that music finds its way into my heart to soothe and encourage my spirit. I can hear a familiar song but interpret it at a much deeper level or read a familiar passage in Scripture and feel it more deeply and grab hold of truths I need just at that moment in time. I'm certain that this is not based on my intellect or ability, but rather, it is the Holy Spirit's gentle way of speaking to me in the love language of my soul.

We are created beings - we dwell in earthly vessels that will die and return to dust - but the "real" person of who we are remains eternally. That's a deep and difficult concept to understand for me. I know that my earthen vessel, this costume, this flawed temple dies a little every day and I move one step closer to eternity without the aches and pains of it. 

Yesterday was the 11th anniversary of my earthly father's passing into eternity. Someone asked me if I was sad or if waves of grief had hit because of that anniversary. Honestly, I wasn't sad at all. I'm glad I remembered the day because it was the day that Dad was freed from a broken and diseased body and projected into eternity - victorious over sin and death. I have the beautiful hope of seeing him fully alive again in Heaven. I did, however, have a momentary wave of wonder - of wondering if my present frustrations would ever end...the wondering if my dreams would ever come to fruition or if the scale would ever move beyond the 4 pounds I have lost twice in two weeks...

And then, a song came to me - literally as I processed these thoughts - this song - one that I have loved forever came to me....Bridge Over Troubled Waters This ties into last week's blog "Bridges" so well because of the visual that God had given me about my own personal purpose of being a bridge....but this particular song spoke to me at a whole new level. Look at the lyrics:

Bridge over Troubled Water

Simon & Garfunkel

When you're weary, feeling small

When tears are in your eyes, I'll dry them all (all)

I'm on your side, oh, when times get rough

And friends just can't be found

Like a bridge over troubled water

I will lay me down

Like a bridge over troubled water

I will lay me down

When you're down and out

When you're on the street

When evening falls so hard

I will comfort you (ooo)

I'll take your part, oh, when darkness comes

And pain is all around

Like a bridge over troubled water

I will lay me down

Like a bridge over troubled water

I will lay me down

Sail on silver girl

Sail on by

Your time has come to shine

All your dreams are on their way

See how they shine

Oh, if you need a friend

I'm sailing right behind

Like a bridge over troubled water

I will ease your mind

Like a bridge over troubled water

I will ease your mind

Songwriters: Paul Simon

Bridge over Troubled Water lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

As I listened and read the lyrics, I felt all those things, but what changed was the view of the person "on my side" or who "will comfort" or who will "ease my mind" from a physical human to that of the Holy Spirit, given to me by Jesus, the One who is always on my side, always a friend, always my Comfortor and the ONE who laid Himself down over the troubled waters of sin so that I can pass from this life and into eternity...

Today, I received an email from a sweet woman whose family is in crisis due to an unexpected job loss - this dear family has always been on the giving side of helping people but never on the receiving side. God gave me this song to encourage her spirit - with a whole new meaning to give her hope for brighter days. He has given me a journey through financial pain through unexpected sickness and job loss so that I could feel her pain and empathize more personally, equipped to encourage her, not out of shallow "it will be okays", but rather, God is faithful and can be trusted to act for our good and His glory.

I still resist the hard times as most of us do, but I've learned that the lessons we learn in the valley are never just for me to avoid pitfalls - instead they are meant to use to honor the two most important commandments - love God and love people. Loving Him by sharing Him with others and keeping His Word and loving people by encouraging them with His Word and His promises.

When you're weary - feeling low....when tears are in your eyes - I will dry them all - I'm on your side...me (Amy). Like a bridge over troubled waters, I'll lay down for you and help you get to the other side of your crisis -- but you know what - there is One greater -- who laid down His Life for you -- Jesus...the Great I AM. He is there for you - always. Trust Him.

"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. John 10:13 (KJV)

Bridges...

Have you ever considered what your purpose is in life? I'm sure you have. Pondering our life's purpose is important. It's like the needle on a compass or the location setting on our GPS trackers. Knowing our purpose in life allows us to pick and choose activities, relationships, professions and even hobbies. I'm not just talking about occupations here. I'm talking about your life's purpose...how you make an impact on this big ball we call Earth.

I have taken a step back to look again at my purpose. Last year was a whirlwind for me - and even though I don't think I got too far off track, my vision got blurred from my Mother's sickness and death and from pushing so hard to fast track my seminary classes. But what came out of that was a renewed desire to be sure that the choices I make going forward connect to my purpose - my calling to ministry and the organic reason that God put me on this planet.

As I was praying one day, a picture of a bridge came to mind - one that looked something like this bridge. I couldn't get away from this image. I began to look for definitions that would help me see more clearly what God was showing me and He showed me that bridges connect two destinations that are divided by a body of water, a valley or crevice in the land that would be deemed treacherous or physically impassable without access to the bridge. As I thought more about this definition and image, I began to see this image as vision of my life's purpose. I'm a bridge. My life has been spent more often than not connecting people and problems with other people and solutions. I've often described my life as a great big "Dot to Dot" picture because I enjoy connecting people with other people and I really enjoy connecting life experiences with God's purposes.

This is not something that I had to learn to do or strain to be comfortable doing - it just flows naturally. If I may ask, what is your life's purpose? Has God given you a mental picture to help you understand it? If not, have you taken time to ask Him? So much of our lives are spent searching for that perfect career calling or that ultimate destiny that we miss knowing the real purpose of our lives. Maybe this is a simple concept that all of you who are reading this have known a long time about yourselves and I'm just now discovering it - that wouldn't surprise me at all! I'm a late bloomer! 😉

I think my point to writing this today is that we are all created to live our lives to love and glorify God by loving people and caring for His creation. We can best do that when we know our purpose and allow it to naturally flow through us. We can study about spiritual gifts and fruits of the Spirit and we should - it's very helpful to know and understand them well. But we shouldn't limit our calling to just our occupations or how we serve the body of Christ. Spending time in His Word and in prayer will help us all to discover and become more comfortable in living out our purpose and should help us to find contentment in the journey when the storms rage.

As I move forward in this journey in ministry, my heart's desire is to be the bridge that connects people with Christ, first and foremost. I want to be a vessel that connects artists and the arts back to the church and the love of Christ to artists who are searching for Him. And if I'm given the opportunity, I'd love to connect those in my circle with Israel and Israel with them - because connecting with Christ, with Israel and you who are in my circle has changed my life forever for the better...and I'd like to be able to offer that to others too.

Connecting dots and sowing seeds... Amy