2012 - It was the best of times - it was the worst of times

This morning I was contemplating the last year, trying to make some sense of it all.  Truly, the opening line of the book, "A Tale of Two Cities" describes the 2012 of my world.  The spectrum of emotions that were experienced stretched me to the brink of losing my sanity at times -- the elation of planning the trip of a lifetime to God's Holy Promised Land, Israel...to the devastation of the worst move of our lives on Christmas Eve/Christmas Day from our home of 15 years that we built, loved and sold to short sale due to this crashing economy.

2012 opened with anticipation that good things would come our way.  January brought many opportunities to sing and share my testimony across the Southeast to women's groups through Stonecroft Ministries.  Through that organization, God allowed me to be a part of seeing the lives of many women radically changed through their profession of faith as Jesus Christ became their Lord and Savior.  The entire year was spent sharing the opportunity of singing with Camp Kirkland's Celebration Orchestra in Israel as fundraisers included writing and publishing my first cookbook, selling delicious meats from a local business and selling CD's.  It was a great opportunity to meet new people and experience the generosity of those who love helping others.

Since his job loss in 2010, James was still unable to find permanent employment throughout the first quarter of 2012...our finances were so tight and yet God made a way and provided for our needs.  He lost his unemployment benefits in April due to slight increases in Alabama's unemployment rates and so he began his own lawn care and maintenance service as a full time profession.  God, again, was faithful to make a way and send clients who were faithful to hire him, pay him fairly and treat him with respect and dignity.  Of course the headaches of self-employment came with equipment breakdowns and frustrations of down time because of it.  It was a rainy summer as well, so there were days when he just couldn't work due to soggy grounds.

I usually make salsa and jellies to make extra money each year, but this year wasn't able to because my beloved stove broke down.  We didn't have the extra money to get it fixed so I learned to cook using a 2 eye hot plate, a crock pot and a toaster oven each day.  Eating out is just too expensive for this household so we made do and testing recipes is a challenge when writing a cookbook.

By summer, we were forced to put our home on the market or lose it.  We had held on for as long as we could but my sickness in 09 and James' job loss had just put us at the point where we had spent all our resources and couldn't hold on any longer.  It was gut-wrenching to make the choice to sell it or lose it...but our realtor, a godly friend encouraged us that this would bring freedom to some of the stress we'd been dealing with and help us to move forward.  We also put my mother's home on the market about the same time.  She had done all she could to stay on top of her payments but had lost her extra income in part-time retail when the economy caused the business owner to have to lay her off.  So here we were - in a place we'd never been, staring foreclosure or short sale in the face knowing that finding a place to live would be difficult being self-employed and with a serious credit hit.  Mother's home showed weekly - and when an offer came on her house we were sure it was going to meet not only her needs but would offer one of my best friends a place to live as well since she had just sold her home.  Our home didn't show right away which made us very concerned.  But when it finally did show - only 2 people came through and the 2nd person put a contract on it the day she visited for the 2nd time.  We knew it would be a short sale, but felt it was a solid offer and our mortgage company was even offering us the possibility of moving assistance should the short sale go through.  Mother's mortgage company wasn't so cooperative.  The offer on mom's house was rejected and she faced certain foreclosure - she was devastated - I found myself praying that God would at least allow me to get to Israel and back before any of this happened.  We were cruising along just fine with ours until the week before I was scheduled to leave for Israel...

The hammer fell - Wells Fargo wouldn't return my phone calls - they had rejected not only the short sale contract but had set a quick date to foreclose on our home and it was going to be the Friday before I was scheduled to leave for Israel the following Wednesday!  We were devastated.  I didn't know whether to go or stay - and felt it would be cruel to leave James here to handle not just one but two moves while I was half the world away - and yet, I knew God had provided and made a way for me to go...Thankfully, it appeared that we were going to get a contract on Mother's house so her file was re-opened and what happened in our situation was nothing short of a miracle...

I stopped by the church to drop off some cookbooks and as I was leaving my dear pastor was returning from lunch.  He asked how I was doing and I shared with him what had happened.  He told me to go immediately to speak with an attorney who he knew could help us in this situation and he was firm in saying to do so.  I asked him to pray and left to go see our realtor who had called while I was talking with my pastor.

When I got to her office she shared that the mortgage company had rejected the offer for what we felt was a bogus reason and I told her that my pastor had suggested seeing an attorney - she said that her broker had recommended the same thing and she picked up the phone to call.  He was able to see us immediately and offered an option that could literally save our home from foreclosure.  We acted quickly - and God's Hand covered the entire situation - and my only question was whether to go or stay...the attorney said I needed to go and do God's work there and not think about this stuff while I was there...

I hadn't shed a tear up until this point and when I got to my realtor's car, I broke down and sobbed.  I don't know if it was tears of relief, grief, or what...but I couldn't stop weeping.  I hadn't cried at all since March, when I was sharing my testimony and the grief over the loss of my Dad in 07 hit me -- but it was a similar cry - from deep in my heart....

A week later, I'm getting on the plane excited to go on the trip of a lifetime - to Israel - and to get to sing with an orchestra!! Cloud 9 doesn't begin to describe how I was feeling that day.  The first leg of the flight was fine - Birmingham to Atlanta -- easy up - easy down...Atlanta, however, presented with delays....many of them.  When our plane finally loaded, we were already late to get to New York for the nonstop to Tel Aviv - but a serious mechanical error caused us to have to deplane...a phone call to Camp Kirkland led to my first encounter with other Celebration Orchestra members...and an adventure began.  We sat in the terminal for what seemed like hours.  We texted and talked with the others who were already in New York waiting on us.  What started out as an exciting day quickly turned stressful and we knew we were going to be behind the others arriving at our destination.  There were 9 of us who were stuck at this point and a plane full of folks trying to get to New York...One final conversation with Camp before their flight left and we got word that President Obama had been in NYC so Air Force One had delayed all flights out of JFK - so we felt all would be well.  We were able to get a flight to New York a little later, but when we arrived there was a traffic jam on the runway and we were about 20 minutes from getting to the gate to change planes -- that 20 minutes caused us to miss our flight to Israel...we knew then that we'd have to stay overnight in NYC.  We were so sad and frustrated but the folks at the gate were kind and helpful and we stayed at a nice hotel and our meals were covered because of this little hiccup...part 1 of it.

Part 2 came the next day when we weren't able to get on the non-stop flight to Israel.  It was full so we had to reroute through other cities -- half of us went to Rome and the other half went to Brussels -- I went to Brussels...long flight, boring airport and literally no sleep at all.  We lost another day and missed not only our only rehearsal but a beach side concert as well.  We were so disappointed!  The flight from Brussels to Tel Aviv was uneventful - but cramped.  We got there early the next morning and had an hour's drive to our hotel.  We arrived around 3:30 am and knew we'd get about 2 hours sleep before a very busy Sunday would begin.

My roommate was fabulous - we became instant friends - the whole team was just wonderful and it was such a blessing to be welcomed by 40 strangers and made to feel like family within minutes of our arrival to breakfast that morning...  God blessed the day with a trip to the Boat Museum and a casual concert as well as a boat ride on the Sea of Galilee.  We were offered an opportunity to renew our commitment to Christ on that water and learned about Jesus' preaching and teaching from the boat.  It was a beautiful place to let go and release all the pain and hurt that 2012 had brought as well as begin the beautiful week that would change my life forever.

Being baptized in the Jordan River - singing concerts all over Israel, visiting historic landmarks that brought the Bible to life for me and making friends with people from all over the country/world just make my heart sing...I'll never be the same even in the midst of one of the hardest years of my life.

To get home and face the move of a lifetime - with literally no place to go brought me back to reality quickly.  The ups and downs that come with a short sale are hard to explain but because we had used an attorney to stop the foreclosure the mortgage company rejected the possibility of any moving assistance - so it became necessary to sell some of our furniture to pay for this move....and because the burden of the heavy moving would be on James his work load would be less, therefore causing less income to come into the household and business.  Thanksgiving was quiet but Mother's home foreclosed just a few days following.  Round one of moving began because she only had 10 days to leave her home.  A dear friend stored all her furnishings and our dear veterinarian is keeping her cat.  We had some amazing helpers to get her moved and she stayed at our home.  Two weeks later, our move began.  We had a delay at closing due to an error with the closing attorney which bought us a little time but would put us moving out of our home on Christmas day. We came very close to not being able to close the loan because the buyer was about to have to refile all her financials with her mortgage company which would have delayed even longer. Because it was the busiest time of the year, those who normally would have time to help us just weren't available so the burden of the move fell on mine and James' shoulders.  When friends are scarce and family doesn't appear to have any interest, it's easy for Satan to get a hold of your mind.  It's easy to feel like no one cares and it's easy to feel resentful and hurt when none is intended.  That battle can be exhausting on its own but compounded with the stress of not knowing whether the closing will even take place or where you'll be going makes for many sleepless nights.


 We had gotten so excited about our new place!  Just a few weeks prior to all this,we found what seemed to be a perfect home nestled on 6 beautiful acres and the owners were in retired in ministry so we felt they could be trusted to be fair with us and up until we were ready to sign the papers they were...but the Friday before we were supposed to start moving, we were in town to sign the papers, and found out that the home had sold out from under us...they had taken an offer to sell over the option they'd agreed to with us on a lease/purchase and we found ourselves facing a move with no place to go.  We were devastated, yet again, to say the least!

I prayed for a mild winter and God has been faithful.  Most of you have read about my 365 convertible and that the top won't go up on it - so driving in cold temps or rain can bring a few strange looks -- I'm kind of used to that anyway - but nonetheless - it's just one more thing.  Well, thankfully we were able to use it to pack and move things as well as get boxes, boxes and more boxes...

Our move started the week before Christmas.  We worked long days EVERY day getting the rest of our things packed and organized (I'd been packing since August) and had moved my best friend's home, my mom's home and now ours.  We were able to borrow a van from a local realtor who was kind enough to let us use it to move my mom but it was reserved for the time our move would take place so we had to find another way.  A dear and precious brother in Christ, offered 2 covered trailers for us to use as well as warehouse space if we needed it....and we certainly did!  I never imagined the amount of "stuff" that would collect over the course of 15 years in one home by 2 people!  We were blessed by a couple of professional movers (also friends) who moved the bulk of the furniture for us while James ran sound for the children's musical at church.  This same dear brother who loaned his trailers helped the day before to load one trailer full of boxes...up and down stairs all day long...that's a real and true friend!

On Sunday before Christmas, we decided to rent a small uHaul van to get the rest, thinking we wouldn't have to make many trips...Christmas Eve was fast approaching and James and I sensed that we wouldn't be sleeping at all.  A 24 hour stint of moving was what it would take to get everything out by our 10 am Christmas day deadline.    A dear and precious friend had graciously offered her home to us to stay over the holidays because we hadn't found a place to land permanently.  James had a couple of guys over to help move most of the heavy stuff the day before but what was left was time consuming and seemed unending.  Christmas Eve day had delay written all over it.  Mom and I had stayed at the friend's home the night before so the mattresses could be moved.  James stayed with the animals on one remaining mattress so he could get up early and get started while Mom and I ran a few errands that had to be done prior to the holiday store closings.  Traffic was bad and people moved slowly and her car was acting up.  We finally got to the house mid-morning and it seemed everything was just moving in slow motion.  We worked all day without a break and decided to take a quick break to eat supper and take Mom home - at 83 she had worked until she was just about to pass out and it would have been cruel to ask her to do any more.  I dropped her off and met James at the warehouse to unload after we ate supper.  This truckload had heavy stuff but nothing like what was to come later.

He and I spent over an hour unloading and then hurried back to load again.  This time we loaded 2 huge workbenches that my Dad had given to James - they were made of pressure treated lumber so you can imagine how heavy they were.  We also loaded leftover tile, granite and metal shelving that had held items in the garage.  Remaining furniture, tool bins and lawn equipment went in this load too and it had begun to get really cold.  I was having trouble standing up straight and by this time it was approaching around 9 or 10pm.  We decided to take this load even though the truck wasn't loaded to the brim - we knew it would take a long time to unload it since it was just the 2 of us...we were both approaching exhaustion by this point.  It took us over an hour to unload and my back was screaming in pain.  My spirit was so heavy and I felt as if God had completely abandoned us at this point and I found myself silently weeping in prayer begging God to send help our way.

James had gotten hungry and knew we would be really late working on the next load so he suggested we grab a quick bite to eat at Waffle House - we were hopeful that no one we knew would be there because we looked and felt so bad.  We drove by 2 churches on our way and one was lit up with candles for a late night service and it made me sad to think that we wouldn't be celebrating Christmas in a traditional manner.  I hadn't been directly involved in any Christmas music, parties or anything and just felt completely out of touch with all of it. Our waitress was such a blessing.  She was so kind and friendly and made us feel like her only customers.  We sat there long enough to get stiff so leaving was comical at best.  People stared but it was Waffle House - so really who cares?

Going back home to load again was something we both dreaded...we couldn't see an end in site but knew it had to be done.  It was cold and damp and our sweet dog and cats had followed us every single step of the way.  They were just exhausted and it broke our hearts to see their loyalty and love.  They seemed to understand that what we were doing was hard but we could tell they wondered if they fit into the picture somehow.  They are such a blessing and their unconditional love and constant joy got us through this hard night.  We got back to work and every box seemed heavier and every item seemed less important.  We waited to load some of the pictures and art work because I worried that it would get damaged but this time we just had to bite the bullet and get it done.  Again, my heart was crying out to God to give us some relief and I just felt completely dark and abandoned inside...I can't explain it other than to say that I just felt as if the world had turned its back on us and we were facing this horror completely alone...it was awful.

We finished  this truckload at around 2 am.  We headed to the warehouse to unload and I took a load in the car.  It was freezing and my hands were numb.  James was just dragging.  How he found strength to go on was something I just couldn't understand.  He was amazing.  Arriving at the warehouse it was so quiet - almost haunting.  We moved a little slower this time but when we finished we walked outside and it was spitting snow.  James told me to go ahead and head back and he would lock the gate.  So I left thinking he was right behind me.  When I came to the 4 way stop I noticed a policeman was patrolling the area and my heart sank.  What in the world would he think of a lone driver in a car and a lone driver in a uhaul pulling out of a warehouse at 3 am on Christmas morning?!?  This wasn't going to be good at all.  I thought he might stop me but he didn't - he just stared and kept driving.  I guess he thought I was helping Santa.  I got back home and when James didn't come, I just had a sinking feeling something had happened so I called.  Sure enough, the cop had stopped him as he was pulling out of the warehouse driveway.  He asked if James still lived at our current address after James had bared his soul identifying the warehouse owner and why he was there.  James replied, sir, I do still live there until 10 this morning and that is why I am working all night on Christmas.  The policeman let him go - and James was able to get back home -- sigh of relief!

So we thought we had about 1 more load - not so.  2 more loads were left and we still had more stuff.  It wasn't incredibly important, but nonetheless, we couldn't leave it for the new owner so it had to be done.  Again, I was begging God not to leave us alone in this and was about to cry again.  James and I were hurting badly by this time and the animals were sleeping.  We kept working but it was slower and slower.  At around 8 am or so, one of our neighbors and long time friends drove by and stopped.  He walked up and hugged me and apologized for not coming by sooner.  He asked if he could help in any way and if it would help if we stored anything at his home in the basement.  We told him our situation and what was going down and he left to go get his son's truck and headed back.  About 10 minutes later, his sweet wife came in and offered to help as well as their sweet daughter.  We had clothes and a few items in the attic left.  My strength was gone but their fresh energy gave us the strength to go on.  In record time the rest of the stuff was at least out of the house and into the garage, on the back porch or ready to be loaded on the truck.

At that point it was getting very close to 10 am.  Our realtor had been trying to reach us to let us know they were coming and wanted to know how close we were to being out.  Our cats had disappeared in all the rush and we were trying to get everything loaded and out of there.  At 10 on the dot, the new owner and her fiance' walked up the driveway.  We were getting the last of our things loaded and I explained what had happened.  The new owner was kind but the fiance' was aloof and seemed not to care.  I was so tired at that point that I probably misread him but we had done all we could...and God had heard and answered our prayers by sending these dear friends in the nick of time.

We continued to work and it began to rain.  All the stuff was out of there but the cats hadn't come back around.  Suddenly, out of the woods, my little Mildred came running up.  She was hungry and cold and let me pick her up even though she was scared to death.  Evelyn was no where to be found and I feared the worst had happened - either she had run away in all the chaos or was hiding in the attic so afraid to come down and with the new people there she might not ever come down and would just die up there from hunger and from being so afraid.  My heart sank.  I didn't want to leave her but I didn't know what else to do.

James told me to take the others with me and we'd come back later to see if we could find her.  The new owner said she would watch out for her and would call if she saw her (I knew she'd be busy and wouldn't do that, but I appreciated her kindness).  I cried all the way home.  I had promised Evelyn I wouldn't leave her and I felt as though I was abandoning one of my children.  I wept.  Mildred cried too.  It was awful.

We got back to the "borrowed home" and out of our wet clothes and sat down to rest a while.  I ended up crying myself to sleep and Mildred stayed right by my side.  Our little dog, Cash, was sad too and slept right by James all afternoon.  We felt like we had been run over by a train, but that pain was nothing compared to the heartbreak we felt at leaving our beloved cat in the rain and cold or stuck in the attic with strangers in her house...the unknown of that was gut wrenching.

We went back to get some clothes at our neighbor's home a little later and decided to see if we could find Evelyn.  The rain was torrential at this time but it didn't matter.  I was a "Mom on a mission" and I was going to find my baby if it killed me.  We stood outside in the rain calling Evelyn and caught a glimpse of her at our old house.  She could hear us but couldn't find us and was so scared and wet.  James walked over to her but his umbrella scared her and she ran into the woods.  He disappeared to the back of the house and suddenly a flash of lightning hit just near where I thought he was.  At that point, I cried out to God again, please don't take my husband too!  I screamed for James and he came back around the house and said that lightning was just a little too close for comfort.  He went into our neighbor's home and I stayed outside to look for her.  When the rain slacked, I walked over to call her, thinking I had seen her. But it was only raindrops reflecting in the light...my heart was just broken.

We left again and I cried all the way home...just knowing we would never see her again.  Evelyn was a shelter cat and a stray before she came to the shelter so she has enough feral cat in her to do something like that.  We left some food in our neighbor's garage for her in a familiar bowl, hoping that she'd smell it and our scent and know that we didn't forget her.  I prayed all the way home too...It had been the worst Christmas ever and nearly losing James to lightning and being unsure of Evelyn's location or whether we'd ever get her back were the tip of the iceberg.

When we got home, I just went to bed.  I was exhausted, drenched from head to toe and heartbroken.  My body hurt everywhere but especially my heart. Sleep was fitful and leg cramps came often.   I had read Scripture desperately trying to find hope and encouragement, I had read posts from my friends hoping they would post a verse that offered something encouraging...God seemed so distant even in the glowing lights of the tree our friend had put up for us to enjoy.  Her gift was a sign that said, "Our God is an Awesome God" and I believe that, but I felt that He had other things pressing that kept Him from attending to our needs all the while knowing that it was only God that could make this better. I finally drifted off for a couple of hours while charging my phone.

About 6:30 the next morning, I was wide awake and turned on my phone.  About that time a text message came through and it was from our neighbor, telling me that our sweet Evelyn was safe in her garage and that she had eaten and was sleeping in her attic.  She wanted me to know that she had to go to work but would leave the door open for me to come and get her.  My spirit lifted and in my mind I jumped up to get dressed to go get my baby girl.  (I moved slowly, groaned deeply as I pulled on my jeans) but in my mind I was leaping.  God had answered my prayer and had brought my baby home.  I couldn't wait to go and get her!  I decided to surprise James and Mom by not telling them and thought I'd be back before either of them awakened...I should have known...

Going to pick Evelyn up in a car that was low on fuel should have been a simple process - I had $10 in my pocket and could get a couple of gallons and then be on my way...but Mom's car acted up and kept stalling out every time I got my speed up past 40 mph.  I was about 3 miles from my neighbor's home when she called to see if I was still coming.  I told her I was five minutes which turned into 10.  When I got on the road to her house, the car stalled twice!  I thought I would never get there - less than a mile and I couldn't get to my baby...

Finally, when I drove in at her house she had left the door cracked but I couldn't get her to the door.  I went in and it scared her - but we went into the garage and climbed into the attic and there she was, my beautiful Evelyn.  She looked at me long and hard and then walked away.  She didn't want to have anything to do with me.  We waited and talked a little while she did her thing. Phyllis had to go to work so she left the attic and me with treats for my Evelyn.  I asked her if she wanted some and she walked slowly over to where I was.  I caught my breath.  I was so close to having her back and taking her home with me.  When she got close I picked her up and she struggled to get away.  She was angry and hurt and didn't understand.  I felt it - I knew I had broken her heart.  Those of you who don't believe animals have emotions are wrong.  This sweet cat was cold and afraid and knew that her mom had left her like that...

Phyllis heard me and came back up and got her from me and took her back down from the attic while I slowly came down (remember I was still stiff and sore from the move)...  She held her while I got down and it seemed to calm her some.  We put the attic stairs back up when I got down so she wouldn't run back up if she got away.  Phyllis held her until we got her into the crate to go home.  I was so relieved but my heart was pounding...

At that point the journey home began and Evelyn seemed content to be in a warm car, safe crate and happy to be with me.  The car stalled out several times on the way home and by that time, James had sent me a text asking what was going on.  I told him and he asked if he needed to come and get us.  I stopped and let the car rest at Sonic while I got some tea for us.  I felt like everything would be ok by then.  It was and we got home safely.  What a homecoming it was!  Mom had cooked a wonderful breakfast and we all shed tears of joy at having our family complete once again...prayers of thankfulness were offered and we rested with grateful hearts all day long...and have since.

I am grateful for the place to stay because of the unselfishness of dear friends.  I'm grateful that my family is together and that we are safe and warm and not hungry.  I'm grateful to have seen Bethlehem and where Jesus was born as well as where He was crucified, buried and rose again.  I'm grateful to have walked where He walked and experienced the bodies of water He created and experienced.  But there's something about being home - especially around special holidays like Christmas and New Year's.  I knew in 2009 that God was going to force me to face my greatest fear of being homeless.  I begged him not to, but even in Israel, I knew the process was inevitable.  I don't know why He wanted me to face this or why James and Mom had to go through it too, but I imagine it was a stronghold for them too.

At one point during the moving process, I posted a thought on Facebook about living in "borrowed housing" and how strange it felt even though I am deeply grateful for it. The Holy Spirit spoke to me that while Jesus was here on earth he was not only born in a borrowed manger but he also died and was buried in a borrowed tomb.  That was perspective gained from Scripture I've read many times.  Perhaps it's part of the purpose of the trip to Israel, facing homelessness and experiencing the generosity of friends in situations like this that have given more feet to our faith.  Maybe it's the beginning of a book that I'll write so that people will understand that mature, grounded Christians who are well educated and appear to have it all together have bad things happen too.  Rose garden faith is shallow and unrealistic.  If Jesus was tempted, we are tempted.  If Jesus suffered, we will suffer.  If Jesus lived in borrowed housing, at some point in our lives we all will live in borrowed housing too - your story may not be like mine but you will grow old and likely live with your children or in a nursing home.  You may lose your job and need to rent rather than own your home.  You may be in the military and live in government owned housing...but if you are a believer, regardless of your home ownership, in reality, this isn't our home -- we all live in borrowed housing.  Heaven is our Home.

What I learned in Israel is that we over-complicate Jesus' teachings.  He was practical and used examples to teach his people that they would understand and that we can understand too.  We over-complicate Christianity too.  We place a lot of rules, a lot of expectations and a lot of unrealistic spirituality on ourselves and others when Jesus simply told us to love Him above all things and love our neighbors as ourselves.  He told us to seek Him first, to pray and earnestly seek Him to find Him.

What I've learned through this move is that sometimes God allows us to get to the edge of a cliff or the end of our rope so that we can truly see what we're made of and just how much we will trust Him.  Sometimes, He lets us live with our "stuff" until we are sick of it so we will turn loose of it willingly.  Sometimes, He doesn't answer because the test is if we will just believe even if He doesn't answer.  That's the hard one.

Like Job, I cried out and begged God to just kill me and take me home.  Like Moses, I got angry because things weren't going my way.  Like Abraham, I was afraid.  Like David, I've felt very alone and abandoned.  But deep within me was a cry that only God could hear.  There were no words that man could hear only groanings coming from deep in my soul.

This story isn't over.  Yesterday, December 31st my Mom's car completely stalled out when she and James were trying to get to the bank.  Once again, a friend came to the rescue.  Today, we are in deep need of a financial miracle to pay our bills and a permanent home to live in...

My prayer is that 2013 will bring an end to this season of wilderness dwelling and that we'll be moved into greener pastures very soon.

I hope that those of you who have read this don't feel as though I just needed to vent and tell my troubles because you've missed the point if you do.  I didn't write this to whine - as I said at the beginning, I was just thinking over the vast contrasts of highs and lows that 2012 brought my way and decided to write it on here in the hopes that it might encourage someone else who may be dealing with similar circumstances or vasts contrasts as well and trying to make sense of it.

The truth is, if I tried to make sense of all this, I could spend an eternity doing so - I don't think that would honor God.  I believe He just took us to a place where we had no other choice but to trust Him to get us through -- not man, not self, not money, not resources -- simply God.

Faithful living ain't for sissies and I ain't no sissy even though sometimes I want to be one....Be blessed in the name of Jesus!  Happy New Year!! Amy

The Aftermath of Election Night

If you're like me, you didn't get a lot of sleep last night. Whether you were celebrating the victory of re-election or mourning the loss of the other candidate those precious lost hours of sleep will never return.  My thoughts on the election have been posted on Facebook and I won't go back and rehash that except to say that in America, we have been granted the right to vote for all people - not just some and not just those who agree with our principles.  In America, we still have the freedom to worship in our churches without fear of the government holding our pastors at gunpoint to say what they want said.  In America, we still have the freedom to speak our minds whether we are in the press or just a person.  Today, we still have the right to keep and bear arms and protect our families and our children have the right to a free education even though free isn't really without cost.  We still have the greatest military in the world and we are a people of great innovation.

As I awoke this morning, the Lord showed me a picture of a pool surrounded by rocks. It was clear from the top but murky on the bottom.  I was walking with a friend down toward the pool when a big sheep came beside me and slipped on the rock and fell head first into the water.  She couldn't figure out how to come up and she began floundering and fighting the water.  She was partially black and partially white.  Her head was small but her body was bloated and her legs were thin and fragile.  I stood on the rock when she fell but when I saw her floundering, I couldn't help but want to rescue her.  I walked over to her and put my hands under her head and pushed her legs away from me so she wouldn't kick me away in her panic.  As I held her head, she began to relax and let her body float to the surface.  When she got to the surface I was able to guide her in turning her over and she was able to get her balance and walk out of the shallow pool.  Yes, once she calmed down she realized that the pool wasn't all that deep and she could still stand and walk out of her dilemma.

Isn't that they way we are sometimes?  We stumble into circumstances and panic when things don't go the way we think they should.  Or we get so excited in our circumstances that we lose our balance and direction.  I think that's what God was showing me to share with you all today.  Lift up your heads - get them on straight and calm down.  Look up and let God lead you so that you can stand again.  When the waters around you calm, and the clouds clear, put your feet back down and stand on the Rock of your salvation - Jesus Christ and the truth of His Word and then keep walking.  Walk on out of it just like that sheep did.

If you are celebrating a victory today, enjoy it for a season.  But don't get so caught up in the celebration that you lose your effective witness to others.  Remember that Jesus is truly our King.  If you are mourning a loss and fearing doom of our Nation.  Give yourself time to spend alone with God and let Him help you sort this thing out.  Remember, Jesus is truly our King.  God raises up leaders and brings them down too -- He can also restore nations that have lost their first love.

Be willing to bow the knee and give honor to God's will for this country whether it brings more suffering or draws us closer to God or prosperity flows and good things begin to happen.  The Great Depression brought about some of the greatest innovators of our time and once people figured out a way to survive their circumstances, America's greatest generation rose up out of the ashes.  Let that be a lesson to all of us in these scary economic times.  Stop blaming others for our circumstances and do something about it...it may not be the easy way or the road most traveled, but if God is leading you there, He will see you through there, too.  What could have been a 10 day journey to freedom for the Israelites took 40 years because of their unbelief and some didn't make it because of their unbelief.

Christians, we are called to be salt and light -- do your part today and flavor and illuminate your world.  I love you so much!! Be blessed in the Name of Jesus.  Amy

Finally Finished!!

Hi Friends!! "He who began a good work in you, will be faithful to complete it." Philippians 1:6

After many long hours inputting recipes, pictures, graphics, etc., the Cookbook is finally finished!! I'm about 6 weeks from getting on the plane to head to Israel and this is probably going to be the last of the fundraisers that we'll be doing and I still need your help.  This amazing book has over 400 recipes that cover a range of everything from beverages, to brunch to crock pot meals and party foods -- there are over 80 desserts -- and let me tell you, just reading through it will make your mouth water!  Here's a picture of the cover:

I'm thrilled!! and cannot wait for you to get your hands on a copy.  There will be several ways you can order.  The first and best way will be to email me at amydsings@gmail.com and let me know how many you plan to order.  If you live locally, I will accept cash and checks for your orders.  But for those who live out of town, I'm going to offer the cookbook on www.etsy.com to order.  All you'll have to do there is look for my page (Sunflower Ministries) and click the book to order.  I will get the best publisher's price by ordering at least 100 on my first order.  So if you plan to order for gifts for Christmas, birthdays, weddings, etc., place your orders now and get a head start.  I'm going to offer them on Ebay too.  But both Etsy and Ebay charge a fee for using their sites so more money will go toward this Mission fundraiser if you are able to order directly from me...I'm using those sites strictly as a convenience to those who want to use credit cards.

There are some devotionals included in the cookbook that I wrote and there are some fun pictures of myself, family and friends over the years.  So it's really more than a cookbook.

I hope you'll consider ordering.  Right now, I plan to offer it for $29.99 + tax (+ shipping if necessary) - if I get more than 100 orders, I may be able to discount it some.  I'm waiting to hear back from the publisher on estimated ship time -- but they've told me all along it shouldn't take very long once the order drops.

Thanks for your encouragement and support.  Many of you have submitted recipes and I'm so thankful for your contributions.

Please feel free to share this with your friends.  All proceeds will go toward this mission trip to Israel and future missions opportunities for orders that come in after this one.

Blessings and much much love!  Amy

Oh the despair of perfectionism...

I'm making a confession to y'all this evening that some will find shocking - most will not - my dearest friends will smile when they read this for they know I've struggled most of my (ok ALL of my life) with this...I'm a recovering perfectionist.  This is my Achilles' heel and is something that truly follows me around like my shadow.

As the Lord would have it, I lead a beautiful group of ladies in Bible study on Sunday mornings at our church.  They amaze me with their talent and passion for serving Christ - and we are drawn together because  of our "artsy-ness" and our passion for Christ.  We have been studying a great book by Rory Noland called "The Heart of the Artist".  It addresses the temperaments, behaviors, traits, strengths and weaknesses of the artist and challenges its readers to seek God's will in using this artistic talent in the local church as well as in the global church and as we carry out the Great Commission too.  Well, as with most studies, I usually get to be involved as the "lab rat" - the guinea pig per se.  And this week has proven to be exactly that.

I know that those of you who read this blog are busy people.  Have you ever had one of those weeks when busy just didn't seen to adequately describe your daily activity -- not enough hours in the day, not enough holes in the schedule, phone ringing off the hook, legitimate and urgent needs flying your way and sudden changes of schedule that seemingly make no sense whatsoever....ok - that was my week.  I'm not complaining but I do find my head spinning when I reflect back on it.

I won't bore you with all the details but let me just say this.  I prayed for a job or a business where I could do the things I love doing every day - God heard me and my goodness!!  -- I've used every single ability, creative energy, spiritual gift and talent that I have in some form or fashion this week.  I think God was reminding me that He hears my prayers even when I'm not really seeking Him for a real and true immediate answer and I was also tested on my need to be perfect and to have that perfectionism fed by human admiration...oh my!

This past week I found myself packing boxes at two houses, arranging flowers for a wedding, preparing music to sing at same wedding, making and canning jelly and salsa, setting up sound equipment, counseling two frazzled friends, making sandwiches and spreads for moving day, singing at the rehearsal, making a new cd for the wedding because the old one didn't sound right...studying for this Sunday school lesson, studying for the Bible study on Wednesday nights, straightening up my house because it's on the market too, and running errands for my husband as well as trying to keep him calm over running sound because he was called in at the last minute when the other one cancelled for same wedding...I was just about to be a wreck when the wedding started.

This most beautiful bride strolled down the aisle.  I've known her since she was a toddler and to see her beautiful face and know that her life is now going to be complete with a wonderful man just made tears come to my eyes.  Getting caught up in the emotion of a wedding is a dangerous thing for a singer - a recovering perfectionist - who has had way too much caffeine and way too little sleep...her mother is like a sister to me and to see her lip quiver was just about more than I could stand...and then my turn to sing came...here we go.  Object lesson for tomorrow's lesson...

Track starts on new cd.  Track sounds a little high for me but I thought it was doable - and it was until the last run of the last line...emotions hit, voice cracks and I sound like a wailing cat on a hot tin roof....I don't know what the audience heard but I wanted to crawl up under the tablecloth of the nearest table and just hide.  I had on my leopard dress and my sparkly pin and my hair and makeup just like I wanted...but those notes were enough to make me want to stay in the bathroom for the rest of the night....UGH!

Funny how God knew this was coming...he's that way you know.  I had just studied the lesson and in it was a reminder to let God love me - to not be so hard on myself - and to remember that the goal of using our gifts and talents for God is for people to be led to worship and see Jesus - not to see or worship us the artist...it was also the reminder that we wouldn't let other people talk to us the way we talk to ourselves...oh that one stung!  After I finished that song, I sat down and the bashing began....you know how it goes -- all the why's, wherefore's, but's, self- kicking, blah blah blah!  And sure enough, there were a few compliments, but not a lot - I didn't expect any at all and the ones I received were very hard to receive graciously to be honest...because it just wasn't perfect and even though what happened was completely out of my control - I still took the brunt of the punishment because of it and I was the main one doing the punishing - satan was the other one who also pointed a finger of judgement through the lack of approving words from people that I thought might be kind enough to say something but didn't...oh the love of all that is good in this world....I need a 12 step program for perfectionism!

Anyway, the bride and groom were so precious and gracious and though they said it was beautiful, I'm not sure they really heard anything and that's just fine with me.  They'll get a good laugh when they watch the video and hopefully it won't show up on YouTube for the world to hear! (Please Amanda and Heath!!)

The point to writing all this is -- perfectionism isn't from God.  It's very self-centered and self-defeating because it places success completely out of reach.  Excellence is from God.  Preparing and doing our very best is what pleases Him - and if technology or stress or fatigue cause a glitch in our performances, we must be willing to let go of it and let God use it for greater good.  My prayer for what happened tonight was that people won't remember what I did wrong but that they will remember the beauty of two people making a lifetime commitment and covenant of marriage and that God was lifted up in their vows and in the love that was in that room this evening. If all they remember is what I did wrong...than my motives in singing were all wrong to begin with and their focus was on me and not on God...I confess to you that in this moment, I remember the good and the beauty of that place and the love in the room but I'm still remembering the wrong too...please pray I forget it and forgive myself because confessing it before you guys and before my Sunday school class tomorrow is going to be painful enough.

Most days, I pursue excellence - and arranging those precious sunflowers for this beautiful wedding was just that - creative and artistic and excellent.  I was so much freer doing that and didn't worry that every sunflower stood exactly the same or looked perfect - why can't I give myself that same freedom?  I honestly don't know...but I hope one day that I'll be able to.  I know I'll have a lot more fun singing and the stress of it won't be near as bad - or won't seem as bad when I do...

To those of you who can relate closely to my story and my long ramblings - you are a recovering perfectionist too, I'm guessing.  May I share this word of encouragement with you?  "Throw yourselves into the work of the Master, confident that NOTHING you do for His Kingdom is a waste of time or effort." 1 Corinthians 15:58.  This is my life verse and I'm going to have to say it over and over tonight in order to let it flood my mind so I can forget my mistake.  May I encourage you to do the same when you beat yourself up because of a mistake too?  Will you let God love you just the way you are and give Him the power to use even that mistake to bless somebody?  Will you begin to lay down the self-esteem thing as an idol and pick up the covering of Christ to make you whole and complete by knowing who you are in Christ?  Can you find a way to be comfortable in your own skin and stop trying to please man?

I know - these are loaded questions -and I'm asking them of myself too.  I don't like to make mistakes - I don't like for others to point out my mistakes either - because it only magnifies my own self-degradation.  I long to be free of this thorn called perfectionism - but I kind of think it may be the very thing that keeps me clinging to the cross of Christ, and all the mercy and grace that comes with it.  How 'bout you?

Until next time,  Be blessed in the Name of the Lord!!! I love ya! Amy

Assignments, Spiritual Armor and Houses...things that make you go hmmmmm!

Last week, I started to write my blog two different times.  I was going to write about some local happenings in my home town, but decided that emotions were running too high and just didn't want to voice an opinion that might cause a lot of debate - then I started to write about the changes in the weather and how crazy this Spring has been  - but I kind of thought writing about the weather was a little like trying to write about a conversation with a brick wall...my first experience with writer's block happened, and I must say - wow - it was not fun!

So today, I'm going to write about prayer, spiritual warfare and friendship.  Those things seem to be unrelated right?? Well in my world, they are tied tightly together - and I bet they are in yours as well.  Do you ever ask a friend to pray for you - or solicit prayers from your church family or your Facebook friends?  If so, you are linked by prayer and friendship...but what you may not realize is how spiritual warfare ties into that too.

Satan hates it when we pray.  It's our most powerful weapon because we have direct access to the Father - the Creator - the King of Kings and Lord of Lords - Maker of Heaven and Earth.  Do you ever find yourself getting really sleepy when you pray?  How about a distraction like the phone ringing, a mosquito, noises you would otherwise never notice?  If so, you've experienced spiritual warfare and prayer.

So how do all three of these become connected?  When we pray for one another - either together or apart.  Today, a friend of mine who shares my name went with me to pray over a home that has been a part of a dear family for a long time.  There is sadness in this home and there was sickness there, grief and death in the loss of loved ones.  The home is beautiful but being near it or in it or around it brings about such feelings of sadness and emptiness.  A flag hangs on the front of the house that is torn, faded, twisted and knotted and it is such an open description of how this house has been tangled in the lives of these dear people for so many years.

Over the past few weeks and months, my heart has been drawn to this home over and over to pray for it. I've prayed when I have driven by it, I've prayed for it when I've been in my own home and I've prayed with others about it and for the family who has been left to care for it.  Today an opportunity came to go inside it and pray.  I've been in it before and walking through it I felt so much sadness that it made me want to cry at times.  My friend felt the same way when she went with me today.  We don't know all that happened there - we don't know the entire family history - and you may think we are really weird for wanting to do this.  But here's the thing - Houses are built by people, Land is cleared by people, People dwell in houses and make them Homes - yes - houses are not living but they have life in them.  Because people are partly spirit - houses have personalities - I believe this to the core of my being.  Some houses feel happy and bright others feel dark and scary and others have sadness wrapped in and through them.  You have felt this before, I'm sure.  Movies and best-sellers are written about "haunted houses".  Songs are sung about "home" and being there bringing peace and refuge...

So anyway, today my friend and I both felt as though God was drawing us to pray over and around and in this home - so I contacted the owner and asked if that might be a possibility.  We had set a tentative time for around 11 without knowing whether he would be able to let us in or not.  About 10:30, I received a contact from him that he had left the home open for us to pray and that we just needed to lock up before we left and he'd reset the alarm system after we finished.  I literally JUMPED out of my chair to text my friend to let her know of his reply and we put on our spiritual armor and met to carry out our God-given assignment.

I was completely amazed at how the very areas I had been drawn to that were sad and dark, were the ones that my friend was drawn to as well.  There were things that she pointed out that I had felt but not considered and there were places that seemed so much sadder than others.  There were also places that held no emotion at all - it was as if the rooms were built but never entered.

So the first room we entered was the laundry area.  As I said, I had been in the home before, but hadn't really noticed a lot of "details".  When we walked in the room, I noticed that there was a type-written note on the fuse box and walked over closer to it.  It was a beautiful prayer.  What was so incredible about this was that I had never noticed it before but it was as though God had given us our first directive in preparing our hearts to pray.  This prayer was a call of repentance, a commission of confidence and a reminder of His care, love and protection over us as we served Him.

We walked through other areas of the home and I was drawn to the windows.  I noticed flowers blooming outside.  There were places filled with natural beauty that served as a reminder of the life surrounding that beautiful home.  As we turned on the lights to enter other rooms, it was so wonderful to see them illuminated - another reminder of God's light and how it exposes the darkness in our lives and makes them bright again. When we got into the largest room in the home, both of us felt drawn to stay there for a while.  We were both drawn to the middle window of the room and we could see the pool area.  At first glance it was old and tired and in disrepair.  It was sad - not filled with anticipation of the joy that Summer brings.  It was rusted and filled with murky water.  We decided that this would be the room where we would spend the bulk of our time in prayer.

My friend began to pray aloud and I walked around the room to different windows and areas and just let God speak to me about those places - He then brought me into prayer and I began to ask Him for restoration of this home's joy.  Honestly, I don't remember all that was said in our prayers and don't feel at liberty to share all that I do remember but I will tell you that when we finished praying, we were exhausted...as if we had been in a major battle.  We had been, we were at war in the spiritual realm - fighting spiritual warfare as intercessors for this sweet family and this beautiful home.

We both walked back to the window that had drawn us into the room and the view had changed - it was amazing!  What we hadn't noticed the first time was all the life around that broken down pool.  On the hill there was a huge wild hydrangea blooming like a burst of white fire works in all its majesty - there was a sweet green tree frog sunning on the handle of the ladder - there were birds chirping everywhere - and in the center of that murky water, sitting on a torn piece of vinyl was the biggest old bull frog looking around as if he was "Lord of the Pond" looking at all his kingdom.  Life everywhere!! God was showing us His life - His creation.  I looked up at the ceiling in the room and on the chandelier there were medallions in the shape of sunflowers - you ALL know how much I love sunflowers...my friend said, "Amy, that was a kiss on the cheek to you from the Lord"...I knew it was!  Oh dear friends, walking out of that home, there was a newness, a freshness ... mission accomplished!

Now, you may be sitting there asking yourself, what in the world is this girl talking about...you may be thinking - she has lost her stinking mind!! Maybe you're wondering why this was such an important thing for us to do -- it's just a house after all...or maybe you're just thinking my friend and I are some kind of spiritual nut-cases.  Not so, my friends!

We are called to be available to go where God is working and to be ready when He says go.  There are lots of ways to carry out the message of Christ and living out "The Great Commission" in our communities, states, countries and the world.  Some are called to teach, preach, pray, sing, build, go, heal - and more - but we're all called in Jesus Name - if we profess to be one of His children.

Jesus promises that "where two are more are gathered, there He will be also."  Matthew 18:20.  I take this verse literally.  I know without a doubt that He was there with us today.  One of the greatest joys of living a spirit filled life is having communication with the Father.  Prayer is not just a laundry list of requests from our end - it's conversational.  What happens to some is that we just "ring up the phone" on our end, tell God what's on our mind and then hang up before He has a chance to say anything.  Oh how we miss so much when we do that!  If we wait anxiously for Him and expect to see His Hand at work, it's so easy to see.  If we will truly believe all the promises He gives, we will see evidence of it even when our prayers go unanswered.

How do we get assignments from the Lord?  We must first be willing and available.  Secondly, we must know our Commander well enough to hear what the assignment is and trust that He knows what He is doing in asking us to do the assignment without asking Him for all the answers before we obey.  Thirdly, we've got to have our spiritual armor either on or close by so that when He calls we can move quickly and go.  And lastly, we must put all "logic" aside and just do the thing even if we have to do it scared...We can't let "man's approval" stand in the way of obeying God.  That's serving 2 masters.  We can't be so busy that we have to tell God to find someone else because we don't have room in our calendars to go...and we must trust - with every cell of our bodies that HE loves us and wants our best even in strange situations.

I loved today! I loved praying with my friend and I loved being on the front line for this family and this home and in praying for God to bring this home into its beauty, love and happy state.  I'm so thankful that the family who owns this home trusted us and welcomed us to pray.  I'm so honored that God asked us to do this.

Friend, I pray you'll enjoy living on the edge with God.  I pray you'll walk in obedience even when it doesn't seem to make sense.  I pray you will seek Him, find Him and know Him with all your heart.  He's funny, He's happy, He's amazing and He really loves you!  Oh how He loves you SO!!

Until next time, may you be blessed in the Name of the Lord!! Have a great week!!! Amy

Changing Lanes

Hi Friends!  It's so good to land here again.  I've been away for a while working on a cookbook and writing a good bit on Facebook, but I came back today to share a couple of thoughts and a funny story for you.  I hope you enjoy them and that they will speak to your heart today.

Here's the funny -- On Mondays, I have 2 sessions of voice instruction at a local Performing Arts Center in my home town - one at 4 and the other one at 5. Before leaving to go, I checked the weather map and read that the severe storms that were in West Alabama would likely just be "light" showers by the time they reached Central Alabama -- soooo, at 4:30 when my first session ended - 2 sweet dance students knocked on the studio door asking if I was the lady with the convertible - and warned that it was about to rain...I explained that there wasn't much I could do about it and they looked at me so funny (as most of you know the top to my convertible is stuck in the "top down" position and most days this is such a non-issue") Well, needless to say, the storms weren't light showers - and by the time my 2nd session ended, I was getting pretty interesting looks as I strolled out of the studio to go to my car. One sweet lady said, "Oh honey, your beautiful car...you're going to get so wet...I told her - oh well, there's a silver lining to every cloud - my car needed washing, I have a chance to cool off and y'all can pray I don't get struck by lightning! She just laughed and said - I sure will!! So I get out to my car, and yes, the seats were wet, it was still raining (not hard though) but most of the "stuff" in the car was not much more than damp.  I started to open up my umbrella and drive with it over my head but thought, you know, people are going to think I'm nuts for driving in the rain with the top down - why give them more ammunition!  So, instead, I turned on the heated seats, defrost and headed home.  Yes, there were plenty of strange looks as I drove home and yes, I was wet and it was still raining.  There were even a couple of flashes of lightning - and for the first time in my memory, I actually heard thunder across the sky above me and it sounded like fireworks popping.  But I arrived home safely, and had a chance to wipe several layers of pollen off my seats and car for the first time since Spring arrived.  It was pretty funny - but truly, there is a silver lining in every cloud - and if that sweet lady did pray for me - her prayers were answered!  :)

Funny how driving seems to be the focus of my writing lately -- I don't know if it's because I'm driving a lot or I'm just thinking about journeys more.  Probably a little of both.  The title of my blog today comes from a post that I wrote on Facebook this past week.  It's something that has stuck with me and I just felt like I needed to share it in this format today.  Here goes:  

Changing lanes...sometimes God asks us to take a step of faith and that step produces more questions...another challenge to seek Him...He says, change lanes (move out of your thought process and into Mine) and in doing so, He reveals more of Himself...changing lanes can produce clearer vision or present roadblocks...but if it's done in obedience, then the road block may just be an opportunity to know Him better.

How often in our lives do our circumstances unexpectedly change - no matter how it comes it's an opportunity to seek the Lord and get to know Him better.   Seasons change, people come in and out of our lives, aging, sickness and death are part of living and wrecks, traffic jams and road blocks are certain whether real or metaphoric.  The One Who never changes is God - isn't it wonderful to know that in all these circumstances, challenges and relationships, there is one constant that we can depend our lives upon...Jesus.

Have you experienced a traffic jam, road block, wreck in your life causing a need to change lanes?  Are you experiencing frustration in the "slow lane" or has the "fast lane" worn you down where it's time for a "rest stop"?  Do you need to take your car (body, mind, spirit) in for service so you run more efficiently?  Maybe it's time to take a new route altogether or make a U-turn and head back home...whatever the case, if traffic in your life is causing restlessness in your spirit, it's likely that it's time to change lanes.

In my own life, traffic was bumpy but moving steadily but a road block caused me to change lanes, I see clearer...but I'm turning a corner and can't see what's ahead - but He can and that's all that matters.

May you be blessed and encouraged today and always!! Until next time...don't fear driving in the rain!! :)  Love ya!  Amy

Thoughts on Driving in the Rain

April Showers bring May flowers -- isn't that the old saying??  Most of you know that I drive a convertible.  But what you may not know is that my convertible has a minor issue -- the top is stuck in the "down" position...in other words, I can't get the top to go back up at the moment.  The hydraulic fluid has drained out due to a leak in one of the lines and I would have to take it to Atlanta to get it fixed -- blah blah blah --

So, I've decided to make the best of the situation and just enjoy it and trust that I'm going to be fine - rain or shine!!

Over the last few weeks, I have had so many opportunities to either pray the rain away or praise the Lord during a brief shower.  I've had opportunities to cool off from the heat of the day riding along with my sweet dog, Cash (who, by the way is looking at me like I'm crazy when we are sitting at a traffic light getting soaked!) and I've had a chance to have friends pray for my safety and to stay dry when traveling to meet them and a stray shower comes through.

This past Thursday, I was in the grocery store and knew that a storm was looming later in the evening and so I had timed it so that I would finish before the storm got close.  I was checking out when my friend, Ginger, came running over to me saying, "Girl! I've been trying to call you -- you need to GO!!  There is a major storm coming and it's headed our way NOW!!"  So she and her daughter, Rebecca, run with me to the car and help me load all my groceries in and they send me off on my way -- they are praying and I'm looking at the sky -- a HUGE wall cloud is headed right in the direction I'm traveling!

I had just had my hair done the day before (it is Easter week after all) and was concerned about it getting wet too soon -- but I was honestly more concerned that a big lightening bolt or tornado might drop out of the sky at any moment.  I looked off to the water and saw this big beautiful full moon and I began to sing -- I sang as loud as I could praising God and trusting Him to carry me home regardless of the storm winds that were blowing...

I know you're all thinking - this girl's crazy!! But honestly, to have my car fixed would cost more than it's worth and to buy gas to travel to Atlanta is just something I'm not quite willing to do right now...so think on...

Anyway -- as I slowed down to turn off the highway and onto the road where I live, I said, "Lord, I trust that you are going to get me home before this thing hits...and I meant it.  I DID trust the Lord -- I could still see that beautiful moon and I knew that I was less than a mile from home....sprinkles started and the wind was beginning to blow hard...I kept driving...I kept trusting and singing and praising the God who promised to protect me...even this sheep who was stuck outside in threatening weather...

As I pulled into my driveway, a big drop fell on my windshield.  I opened the garage and drove in - lowered the door and there I was, safe and sound -- then I remembered my cats were outside.  I jumped out of the car and ran outside only to find that one cat was waiting by the door to get in but the other one was no where to be found....I ran in the house and lowered the windows and let the dog into the garage with the cat and when I got back downstairs I opened the front door and yelled for the other cat and moved the furniture so it wouldn't blow off -- no little cat to be found....

Again, I had to trust that God would protect her -- and I did.  I left the door open into the garage and hoped she'd run in while I unloaded my groceries from the car.  She never came...I was fighting worry very hard but I kept moving.

About that time, James walked in and told me he had been worried sick trying to find me out in the storm -- (did I mention that my phone battery had died and I had no idea until I got home??) Anyway, I told him I wasn't able to get Mildred in (little cat) -- so he went out to look for her -- it wasn't but a minute and he walked back into the kitchen carrying her -- she was dry and safe.  I knew she would be -- God is so faithful.

There have been times in my past where I must confess that I haven't had this much trust in God.  I've given lip service to it and just hoped for the best -- but I can honestly say that in this storm - I truly trusted that God would take care of not only me but of my little cat and of James and the house and that all would be well.  There was peace I couldn't explain and just a relief of knowing that God had everything under control.

I've said before in situations where I've gotten caught in a shower with the top down on my car -- "Lord! You know my situation!"  and just really hoped He wouldn't let me get completely drenched.  And even then, He has kept me from harm.  There have been times when I knew clearly that I was pushing the boundaries and that I shouldn't be foolish -- and the Holy Spirit has cautioned me of such behavior.

Was this past Thursday one of those days?  Well, maybe...but I didn't feel as though I had been foolish -- I honestly thought I would be fine -- it was sunny when I went into the grocery store -- seeing that black cloud was scary and daunting -- but there was still something within me that I knew I would be fine.

So, what is the point of this story -- well first of all, if you are going to drive a convertible, just know that rag tops will break and they are expensive to fix.  Spiritually speaking - well, storms in our lives are going to come and go -- some will be dark, dreary and scary -- and others will be short, unexpected and refreshing and there will be some that are in between those extremes.  Trusting God to hold us during these storms is the key to peace -- it's not having a nest egg of finances - it's not having close friends or family to carry us through -- it's TRUST -- Trust in God alone.  It's fine to plan ahead and it's truly a blessing to have loved ones to stick by us during the tough times -- but if we don't have the Lord to hold onto -- nothing will ever give us the security we truly crave.

When we cry out, "Lord, You know my situation!" He truly does.  But He waits on us to trust Him with it.  He waits to know that our hearts agree with His Truth.  Sometimes we may feel as if He's a million miles away - but if we Trust Him, we don't have to worry about that distance -- we just know that He is there and He truly does know our situations and our every need no matter how great or small.

This Easter weekend, I pray that you KNOW Jesus.  I pray that you have Trusted Him with your eternity and that you have invited Him to be your Savior.  I pray that you have the peace that can't be explained and that you know beyond any circumstance that your life is secure and resting in Him alone.  Don't be satisfied in knowing about Jesus -- do you KNOW Him like you know your mate, parent or child or best friend?

Beloved Friend - Jesus loves you so much that he willingly gave His life for you so that in God's eyes, you are forgiven of sin.  He took on your sin, my sin and the sin of the world so that we may live forever if we accept Him as Savior.  I pray that if you don't know Him personally -- that you'll ask Him to be your Savior today - don't wait -- none of us has the promise of tomorrow.

If you want to know this beautiful Jesus - let me encourage you to read the book of John in the New Testament of the Bible.  I've attached a link to a wonderful video that describes Jesus better than any I've ever seen or heard...May you be blessed in the Name of the Lord -- He is Risen Indeed!!!

Click Here:
Do You Know Him??