They That Wait Upon the Lord - Part 3 - GRAND TURK!

Hi there!! I hope you are enjoying the journey recap!  Thanks for hanging out here for a bit...

I left you last time on the Lido Deck after a lively midday concert aboard the Carnival Ecstasy. We were on our way to the beautiful island of Grand Turk and couldn't be more excited about the opportunities that were unfolding...turns out, God was preparing the way even at dinner that evening!

Cruise ships have a great way of connecting people.  Dinner is served at large tables in close proximity to other tables so it's a great way to meet other shipmates. Because we were a large group, some of us were seated back to back at 2 large tables and then others were seated at large tables in another location. We shared wait staff and fun conversation with others surrounding us and could freely visit the other tables while waiting on the different courses to be served.

Tuesday night was formal night - which meant dressing up a little more than the accepted casual attire but not necessarily in formal wear.  Our group had another shipboard concert, so most of us were already dressed and ready in our black and sparkles!  We cleaned up well for a gnarly band of players, if I say so myself!

The table where I was sitting was a fun table!! We were so blessed to have Gina and Chris Z.(pictured in front) sitting with us, who were from New Jersey and also comedian, Bone Hampton sitting across from us.  Bone moved back and forth from our table to his, bringing much laughter wherever he happened to sit.  

The BEST table EVER!
Gina and Chris are the first ones pictured!

Gina could be a comedienne herself.  At one of the other tables, Mark (Trumpet/Band Mgr) and Belinda B. (Piano) were sitting with a couple (Ronnie and Susan T.) from Memphis that they knew who were passengers on the ship.  Mark shared our ministry plans for the day on Grand Turk with them and Ronnie mentioned that he had been praying for an opportunity to preach or share the gospel somewhere during this cruise.  Mark's jaw dropped.  God had dropped an evangelist in our midst!  Not just an evangelist - but someone whose specific call was to inner city ministry with experience speaking with teens!  He asked Mark if he and his wife could join us and if he might share a short message if there was time.  Mark was elated and when we all heard the news we were thrilled!

God also gave us another lovely connection later in the evening as we prepared for another outdoor concert.  This time it was for a ballroom dancing workshop with the Palmers, who were on the speaker roster for the "Love Like You Mean It" cruise agenda. Meeting them was such a blessing!  Our bandleader, Bob F., had some time to sit with them to get a feel for how they wanted the session to go and then they came up to introduce themselves to us.  To our surprise, we saw a familiar face!  This lovely lady standing before us, was that same lovely lady who danced in worship earlier in the day!  She shared how much she loved our music and how she couldn't help but dance in freedom in the season that God had just brought her through.  

This is one of my favorite pictures -
Tracy and I chatting just before
the couples took the dance floor.

She and I had a few moments to talk as well and we discovered that we were the same age and that God had brought us through a sifting season into the freedom of our Jubilee year at the same time!  Such a beautiful connection!  I believe one of our Lord's favorite things to do is connect his children together! Embracing my sister in Christ and finding these things in common with her was just the beginning and to laugh and chat with her sweet husband was great fun too!! Turns out, turning 50 is a great thing - especially when shared with people who love Jesus!

The practice session was recorded music and our "live" session was mostly instrumental, so I had the privilege of watching the couples dance the night away, many learning to dance together for the very first time.  It was captivating! There was a young couple, likely expecting their first child, dancing the jitterbug with finesse and then another young couple, tattooed with brightly dyed hair (the husband had a mohawk!), they were a little awkward but having fun.  There were senior adult couples learning to foxtrot and swing and even some of our own band mates gave it a try! Some who were learning would get frustrated and try to walk away and others would dig in and just try harder but the Palmers were so fun and patient and encouraged everyone to enjoy the journey.  I think the best part about it all was that on the dance floor nothing mattered -- fitness level, size, ethnicity, age, economic status - nothing -- all that did matter was the connection these couples made with one another and it was a beautiful thing to watch!  I applaud all those who gave it their best shot with lead feet and no rhythm -- it was just amazing! Stuart and Tracy - I love ya -- Thank you for the lessons you taught about the foxtrot -- now every time I catch the rhythm I scoot and skip in my memory!! 

The evening was late and Grand Turk was before us so once we broke down the set we all headed to bed for a few hours of sleep! 
I woke up very early on Wednesday morning to a beautiful sun rise and enjoyed watching the ship sail toward the dock.  I prayed for the Lord to bless our day in such a way that what we would experience would reveal His glory and all would know that He was there in our midst.  I prayed He would speak through our music and words and that He would be magnified and that lives would change...get ready...there must have been a lot of folks praying that same prayer!

There was a little mystery surrounding this day because our contact person on the island had actually been in the United States for a while. Mark hadn't spoken with him and wasn't quite sure how or where we'd be connecting with him to find out where/when we'd play the concert.  Isn't this great!?!  I know that you all must be under the impression that all these plans are laid out perfectly and planned properly in advance...and they are - but in God's timing not ours!  Humanly, we just never completely know - at least that's been my experience!

We had planned to send a search party early off the ship to see if Alvin, our guide, would be there to meet us or if he had someone there to represent him.  The rest of us waited on board, instruments and sunscreen in hand for word as to our next assignment.  

Mark and Alvin

Alvin came through and sent a group of guys as his representatives to meet us.  We hurried off the ship, posed for a few pictures and then proceeded through the security gate to start the day.  There were 3 or 4 church vans waiting and some beautiful smiles to greet us.  The people of Grand Turk were so glad to see us and many in the marketplace said they wished we would do a concert there after we finished at the church!  We had no idea what to expect because it was a work day/school day but God knew.

Driving to the church gave us the chance to see a little bit of the island and learned that the population ON the island was about the same as the number of people ON the ship!  4000 people!  To travel the island completely would be an 8 mile round trip and John Glenn's space capsule landed in the ocean there way back in the day and gas is over $6.00/gallon!  

Hurricane Katrina wiped out most of the dwellings and businesses on Grand Turk back in 2008 and the rebuilding process has been slow but they are taking the time to do it right and what they've done so far is beautiful! 

Grand Turk is a Christian nation with about 8 to 10 churches there...but there are many lost people living there, too. Tourism is their primary industry and the cruise lines are the major feeder. Palm trees and picket fences line the beach side and the buildings are bright and colorful. The ocean is blue green and clear and the divers find the sea life to be quite lovely. Wild donkeys hang out on the roadside and are friendly but shy...not aggressive at all.    It's just beautiful -- GRAND, really!

Upon our arrival at Salem Baptist Church, we were greeted by the Pastor and a few of the ladies who served to make our visit there comfortable.  The church was just beautiful! 

Our drummer, JW and the future
drummers of Grand Turk!

Pastor Chris told us that he really had no idea how many people were coming.  They thought our concert was on Saturday and had planned for it to be a very large community gathering - but he said he knew God would send the ones He wanted there. Alvin shared that all the school children would be coming over. The first to arrive were the high school students.  They were so polite and friendly, dressed in their crisply neat uniforms. The little ones came later and they all captured our hearts immediately as you can see!

We had the best time!  One of the As the music started, some of our support team members could hear the children singing along. 

When I got up to sing the first song, it was my turn to introduce "Blue Skies".  I rarely remember what I say when I do these things, but I remember drawing in the beauty of their island and how God made these things for us to enjoy.  
 
When I started singing the kids stood up and started shouting and praising and singing along!! IT WAS THE BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD!!!  The connection was made and at that moment we all bonded as musicians and audience.  

There are no words to describe how we all felt...all I can say is when I turned around and looked at our band leader - he mouthed to me - "Amy, I'm crying!" and I said back to him, "I am, too!".  I found out later that it wasn't just the two of us -- it was ALL of us!




When we finished our portion of the concert, Mark invited Pastor Ronnie up to share a short message.  I knew it would be special, but had no idea just how much.  He didn't need a podium and he didn't speak fancy, church language.  He spoke from the heart.  He looked those beautiful faces in their eyes and asked them to consider what their eternity was worth.  He shared a story about his lovely wife, Susan, who gave her heart to Jesus when she was a child.  She grew up in church and thought everything was just as it should be until a revival that Bro. Ronnie preached in their community.  It was this same message that he preached and she began to seek God about the truth of what had happened to her as a child.  Was her experience real or was she really saved for all eternity?  She began to wonder and question to the point of sleeplessness.  After some questions and lots of prayers, Susan came to the place where she was sure that she needed to ask Jesus to be her Savior once and for all.  

I must tell you that hearing Ronnie's simple truths and honesty about Susan's situation was very moving - but there was something more.  I began to listen to the children behind me - many were crying and there was a young man directly behind me who was sobbing.  I was moved to tears myself.  It was such a beautiful moment because we were on the verge of seeing young people all over the sanctuary giving their lives to the Lord forever.  I can't begin to put into words how that room felt at that moment.  The Lord was right there with us.  Ronnie gave an invitation for anyone to make their decision public by standing and well over 200 kids stood -- we don't know whether every one who stood was sincere or not in their decision but what we do know is that many, many of them were and for those who just followed the crowd, we claim that a seed was planted and pray that it will grow on fertile soil and that at the right time the Lord will harvest yet more lives for the Kingdom of God.

We had a chance to visit and take pictures after the concert ended and then we had a few hours to spend on the island enjoying its beauty and bounty of goods, food and friendly residents.  On our way back into town, one of the merchants stepped out of the store and asked how everything went -- I told her that at least 100 kids accepted Christ as their Savior and she put her hand in the air and said, "Oh! I hope one of them was my son!" ...and yep, you guessed it - I was a puddle again.  I told her I hoped so too!

God is so good -- He loves for us to use the gifts that He gives us -- spiritual, talents, intellect, athleticism, etc...especially when we use them for His glory.  It brings Him joy when we praise Him and the angels erupt in song and praise when we proclaim Jesus as our Lord and Savior for all eternity.  I believe it was a happy day in Heaven that day -- I know it was a happy day on Grand Turk for a band of musicians, an evangelist and his sweet wife, a pastor, youth minister, townspeople and some great kids, too!  

I know I'm still smiling!  Are you?

They That Wait Upon the Lord - part 2

"They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31

Thanks for coming back - this one has taken much longer to write than I planned -- so much to tell - but wanted it to be something that would hold your attention.  This installment is about trusting God -- we thought we had a plan of action and a schedule and it all seemed great but God had much different plans for us -- we didn't quite have the same map He did...but His ways are always best!

We pick up on Sunday afternoon February 9, 2014 -- After our wonderful experience in Ft. Lauderdale, we loaded the bus to transfer over to the beautiful Miami Airport Hilton where we would spend the evening awaiting our transport to the Carnival "Ecstasy" the next day.  Upon arrival, our rooms weren't quite ready so we enjoyed each other's company spending some down time hanging out in the lobby.  Here's a view from my room:

Once everyone got checked in a large group of us ventured out to a popular restaurant near the airport called the 94th Aero Squadron Restaurant (http://www.94thmiami.com/). It was so good and so much fun!  Here's what my dinner looked like!  It was Argentinian skirt steak with an amazing sauce and sides. For dessert, I had Key Lime Pie -- the perfect balance of sweet and tartness -- capping off a wonderful dinner of laughter and bonding with our Metro Big Band Family.

Heading back to the hotel, we spent the rest of the evening rehearsing our music individually and preparing our hearts and minds for the adventure ahead.  Our itinerary would start early the next day boarding the ship and then our first concert for the crew of the Carnival Ecstasy! We were so excited in anticipation of having the opportunity to reach out to so many people from so many different cultures (over 70 different countries).  

"They shall run and not grow weary"...

Loading the bus to head to the ship was an adventure in itself. Can I just say - Musicians have a LOT of gear! When we arrived at the dock, we proceeded through a series of rooms, getting our check-in materials and then having a small briefing where we learned some news that was disappointing to say the least.

We found out that the Ecstasy was up for internal audit on this particular voyage so at least one if not both of the crew concerts was cancelled.  The internal audit meant that the crew's attendance at the concerts, even very late at night, might be impossible but for only a few.  We were a little stunned because we were certain that this was our major target group to share God's gospel with AND the crew had asked for these concerts!  But we trusted that God had a plan and we were right in the center of it. Mark, our band manager was able to work through some channels to find a venue on board that would be available for us for us to rehearse and hopefully do a short concert late on Monday evening, so we were encouraged some, but still not sure what God had in mind as far as our shipboard ministry.  
We had a relaxed lunch and enjoyed the afternoon.  We set sail around 4:30 to a breathtaking seaside view of Miami and the beautiful ocean amidst fun music and dancing and anticipation of the week ahead.  Here's a look at my beautiful view:  

Soon we were setting up and preparing for a concert in the "Starlight Lounge".  The stage was small and the venue was dark as might be expected.  There were a few people milling about - some crew and some passengers and we were enjoying the rehearsal time when I noticed a young man sitting alone in one of the booths watching every move we made and listening intently to the songs we practiced.  

There was a tune in our song list that was a little low for me to sing and we were considering our options for it.  I felt a gentle nudge from the Holy Spirit to go and talk to this young man. So while the band was rehearsing another number I walked over and shook his hand and introduced myself.  I noticed he had on a name badge on and was a member of the Carnival crew.  He wasn't dressed in uniform, but instead looked a little like someone who might be a performer or something other than wait staff or stewards.  We chatted a little bit and I learned that he was only 22 years old and had come all the way from central Italy to work on the ship as a singer in one of the stage bands.  His job would only last on Ecstasy for 2 weeks and then he would move on to either another ship or head home.  He had taken a huge step to work in this environment but said that his family supported him for pursuing his dream to be a professional singer and he hoped to make the big stage one day - his name was Phillipo.

I continued to feel that gentle nudging from the Holy Spirit to ask our director and manager about letting Phillipo sing the number that was a too low for me.  I approached them, saying that I felt we had a ministry opportunity and shared Phillipo's story with them.  They agreed that we should give him a shot at it and I was thrilled.  I asked Phillipo to rehearse the song with us and promised to stay with him to help with the words and phrasing. He said he knew the tune and felt he could sing it so he came up to join us.  We had a great time rehearsing with him and his accent was so cute as he sang "Save the Last Dance for Me" in his own sweet way.  The band thought he did a good job and so we decided that at the actual concert Phillipo would sing this song and I would stay with him just like we practiced.  I told him our plan and he agreed that it would be fun to do.  He had a huge smile on his face and so did I.  I was thrilled that he was willing to do this and I think he was excited to have been asked.  He had such a sweet spirit about him and a great attitude knowing that it wouldn't be perfect but it would be lots of fun for the audience and for us as well.  My first friend with the crew had been made and I knew that the Lord smiled.  

Around 11 that night, we gathered in the Starlight Lounge.  We had a small crowd but they were a great audience!  Several couples danced to our music, which included both Christian and secular tunes.  About mid-way through the show, I brought Phillipo up to the microphone.  I introduced him, sharing where he was from and thanked him for being so willing to use his gifts to bless our hearts.  He had a beautiful smile and countenance! He sang the song in broken English and did his Elvis moves and put his whole heart into it. The audience loved it and all of us in the band had tears in our eyes knowing that this sweet kid put it all out there for us and for the audience but we also knew that it had made his day and probably his week to have been asked as well.  He stayed for the entire show and heard the Gospel presented through the songs and testimonies that were shared.  

What a way to start off the week!! It was wonderful!  God was showing us that He had plans to use us on this big boat but not as we planned - but as He planned.  Rather than performing for the crew at large, God wanted us to get to know the crew on a more personal level.  Without being prompted, each of us just began to look them in the eye and ask their names and listen to their stories and we began to show them the love of Christ through our words and action - taking notice of the folks with the badges or name tags whether Carnival, Premier or Event staff.  It was a beautiful thing!  

"They shall walk and not faint"... We were so busy but our energy level was awesome!!

On Tuesday, we had a midday concert which meant setting up shortly after breakfast, doing a quick sound check and then changing clothes to be back up on the Lido deck before noon dressed and ready to perform.  After our sound check, I hurried back to my room to change clothes, fix my hair and makeup and get back upstairs.  When I got there, the door was open and the guys were scurrying about making it sparkle - some bringing in fresh sheets or towels and others cleaning and polishing.  I rushed in, and asked how long they needed to finish up.  The one who was cleaning tried to gather up his things quickly and leave and then his supervisor came in to apologize. They were both so concerned that they were in my way.  I smiled and sat down on my bed and told them to calm down - all was well and I just needed to change to get back upstairs for a noon concert.  They stopped and looked at me so funny.  They said, "Ma'am, we work around you, you don't work around us!"  I just laughed and said, "Guys, do what you need to do, I'm fine - I don't mind waiting - God has a plan and I'm right in the middle of it."  The supervisor hurried out and thanked me for being patient and I told him there was no problem at all.  Amru introduced himself and told me he was from Thailand.  He continued his work and when he finished thanked me again for being so patient and asked my name.  I asked what his name meant -- he said, "It means peace-maker - what does your name mean?" -- I told him that my name meant "beloved".  He said, "Wow! We have special work in both our names don't we?"  That took me back a little.  I said, "Yes, Amru, yes we do."  I thanked him for making my room peaceful and told him how much I appreciated what they all did for us.  He had the sweetest smile...I'll never forget that.

I changed clothes and got back upstairs, but my heart was changing.  My eyes were opened and I began to see people not just the blur of the crowds -- I began to notice that each person had a name and that each name meant something.  I began to see the crew - noticing and remembering that they were far from home.  I began to listen to their stories and ask about their families and how long it would be before they would see them again.  I began to listen - I began to love them...be-loved...I began to let them be-loved too.

The concert on the Lido deck was great fun.  The day was gorgeous, the breeze was comfortable and there were people everywhere! They were milling about getting lunch, a little sun, and a little fellowship to the sounds of the Metro Big Band.  It was great fun and even though we were more background sound than focal point, it was neat to see people nodding their heads, tapping their toes or moving to the fun rhythms of the songs.  "Days of Elijah" was one of the songs the band played.  During this song, a beautiful lady in a sarong and pink bathing suit began worshipping through dance all around the chairs and people seemingly in her own world of worship.  It was beautifully mesmerizing!  She cried and lifted her hands and twirled and swayed in praise to the King of Kings.  It looked as if she was part of our show, but she wasn't.  She was moved by the music and the message of the song and began to worship in her own sweet way.  Our hearts were stirred by her simple, yet vulnerable actions.  We didn't know that this first connection would be a deeper connection later in the week - but God did.  There was a young girl, cleaning around the stage - I believe her name was Melissa.  She was from the Philippines.  She asked about our group and told me she loved music.  She said she was so glad to hear Christian music and hear people talking about God on this cruise.  My heart melted. She said that her family was far away and she would get to see them sometime but not soon.  She said she prays for them a lot and misses them.  I had a huge lump in my throat.  After seeing that beautiful lady dance and hear this lovely girl speak, the tears flowed freely.  I was up to sing soon, so I moved away to get ready - but I must say, it was difficult to sing at best but "Blue Skies" came up and God made a way.  It was a magnificent day!!

They That Wait Upon the Lord...

"They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31

Isaiah 40:31 is a verse I memorized a LONG time ago.  It paints such a beautiful picture of having an active and continually moving relationship with the Lord and it's one of my favorite reminders that waiting on the Lord is just as active as flying, running, walking, growing weary and even fainting!

This past week, I was blessed to join with The Metro Big Band as we joined together to share music with a message of hope in God's love, grace and forgiveness with some folks in South Florida and in the Caribbean.  We also served as the house band on Dennis Rainey's "Love Like You Mean It" marriage cruise (I think I may have given credit to Dr. Gary Chapman as sponsor in my last writing -- sorry about that!).  We did about 9 concerts in 7 days, shared music with thousands in different venues and offered our personal stories with those who wanted to know more about our beautiful Savior. We saw at least 100 children give their lives to Christ after hearing an evangelist give a simple but poignant message and those who weren't ready quite yet had a seed planted inside them that we pray will grow on fertile soil.

The weather was perfect on the beautiful island of Grand Turk.  The people there and in South Florida were so warm and hospitable and the folks on the cruise ship gave us reason to smile and laugh and enjoy every minute of our time with them.  The crew were especially wonderful (they came from over 70 different countries) as were the folks who hosted the cruise and worked out every detail for 2000 passengers and just about as many crew members.

You may be wondering "What on earth does this have to do with Isaiah 40:31?" -- actually - everything! Keep on reading...

"They that wait upon the Lord" --

When I was in my early 30's I left a very secure teaching job in my home town to follow God's call to minister through music.  I thought that meant fame and fortune as a professional singer and all that went along with it.  I also thought that leaving then meant instant answers.  Since that time, almost 20 years have passed and I'm still not famous and I've certainly made no fortune from singing but I've believed all along that following God's call to minister through music was real then and is still real now.  I've heard it said that if you don't have a record deal or a hit record or if you're not touring constantly blah blah blah that the call isn't real...or that if you don't make it in the "big bizness of show bizness" by the time you've reached your mid 20's you should just hang up your pipes and go home...but here's the deal - God is not confined by space, time, age or financing.  He's also not interested in our fame and doesn't need our fortune...oh how I believed the lie for so long that I had to earn His love by being successful, famous, beautiful, perfect -- you know - all those things! God has given me a lot of chances to learn about waiting on Him in this crazy life of mine but I never imagined that the waiting would bring such an amazing blessing for me personally.

            ...and wait upon the Lord" -

The guys who put this trip together had been praying for a singer for months with no one responding. They kept seeking God as to whether they even needed one and continued to believe that He would make a way. I had no idea this was happening and even though I knew about this trip, I didn't pursue it because I thought someone would jump at the chance for an opportunity like that - and I was already committed to go to Israel this year with the Celebration Orchestra. I didn't seek this trip out but when the invitation came, I just knew I was supposed to be a part of it!  One statement that the director of the group made to me was that he knew this trip was on my "bucket list" -- I don't remember ever mentioning that to him -- the only way he would have known is if God told him. Knowing I was their answer to prayer is humbling and knowing that God was orchestrating all this long ago is so very precious to me - I waited a long time, but it was oh so worth it!

"Shall Renew Their Strength"

When our group gathered for the first time to rehearse on Friday evening, we were road weary travelers who had been arriving all day long into the Ft. Lauderdale area (I arrived only 15 minutes prior to our departure to the rehearsal venue!). The people I met were a broad range of ages from all over the country but what we all had in common was this same calling on our lives -- to minister through music.  Another thing I observed was that none of us were famous - and none of us were new to this love of music - and none of us were new Christians either. We all had stories to tell - stories of hard things in our journeys - mistakes made and blessings received - rich stories that made for great conversation.  We also shared a rich passion for doing things well and honoring God with our gifts and talents...by being excellent - not perfect.  That first rehearsal offered us all a chance to get to know one another and begin to bond and draw strength from one another and from the Lord to prepare for the week ahead.  My very first song to rehearse with this group was "Blue Skies" - a song I had done with the Celebration Orchestra many times in Israel in 2012.  Tears came to my eyes because I felt like I was home. I felt as though I had known these people for a lifetime and I knew before the week was out, we'd be family and the sound of the horns and percussion flowed through my veins and into my DNA...just so comfortable and wonderful.

"They will mount up with wings as eagles" -

Because I'm preparing to go back to Israel this Fall and because the invitation to join this group came so quickly, I had to make some very fast arrangements to go as far as vacation requests, air travel, clothing, etc. God opened up the windows of Heaven and spoke to His people to provide resources to get me where I needed to be so that we could all be used for His will and glory. Not only did the funding come through, but my brothers and sisters in Christ were used of God to provide clothing, finances, shoes, airline tickets, prayer, encouragement and MORE!  I was also given 14 songs to learn/memorize/prepare at performance level in 3 weeks and spent every spare moment doing so - I was thankful that 6 of them were familiar.  Every single step in preparing for this trip was anointed by the Lord.  He even allowed distractions to come in order to strengthen my focus and wings to soar with the eagles!

I was a little concerned about trying to fund two trips this year.  So much so, that my prayer focus began to move toward asking God for confirmation as to whether He truly wanted me to go to Israel or if I needed to just move all the funding over from that trip over to this one.  I didn't know if I could physically do both trips or if I'd have enough time off work to be able to commit to them.  But God faithfully showed His plan to me first through my sweet supervisor here at work.  When I asked off for this trip I mentioned that I wanted to be sure there was enough time off for Israel too -- her first glance showed that I had 10 days available (I needed 11) - but she said that she just sensed God would make a way.  She came back to me the next day to tell me that God reminded her that we have a floating "ministry day" so there was my 11th day!!  His next directive was to move all of my Israel funding but my deposit over.  So I did but honestly, it made me nervous.

The next confirmation He sent to me came at the concerts we did at the church in Ft. Lauderdale both on Saturday evening and then again on Sunday morning. We had a great time at the dinner/dance concert. The crowd was electric and the chemistry in the Big Band was just amazing - especially considering that we had only had about 3 hours of rehearsal time, I had no monitor so I was singing from the floor and engaging with the audience on a much more personal level than I normally do so they could hear every little bump and bungle I made!  ugh!  I shared that I was planning to return to Israel and that all my cd sales would go toward that trip and the pastor kept encouraging me to do so.

During one of our breaks, two ladies called me over to their table and asked about the Israel trip.  They told me they were Jewish and would love an opportunity to travel to Israel with a good group.  They asked lots of questions and we established a great connection with each other.  The next morning, another sweet lady grabbed me as I was walking into the worship service and told me she was Jewish and that she had purchased one of my Cd's and that she was so glad I was returning to Israel.  She shared with me that she had been over there before she had received Christ but had accepted Him as her Savior because of the outreach of this church.  She said that her family was still orthodox but they told her she knew much more about their faith than they did! She said that she was teaching them and answering their questions, praying they'd come to know Christ too.  With big tears in my eyes, I told her she had no idea what a beautiful encouragement she was to me.  After the service, she called to me from the stage platform and had a very stately, handsome gentleman with her.  She told me she had someone I HAD to meet!  So of course I made my way down there.  She introduced me to this man, who wanted to know more about my trip to Israel.  He didn't tell me who he was right away but asked if there was a need for a percussionist.  He shared that he played in the church orchestra and had played with Glenn Miller as a young man and as Moses in the Christmas production, he always speaks his part in Hebrew.  We talked some more and he gave me his card ...this sweet man is one of the rabbis at the Messianic church in Ft. Lauderdale!  It was all I could do to keep from bursting into tears as I left this conversation.  God was showing me in His own sweet way that I didn't have to worry about going to Israel - he was paving the way with these connections and showing me that my love for Him and for His people over there matters and He wants me to go if that's the desire of my heart...and you know it is!  Shortly before the second service started, I was leaving the sanctuary to go make my makeup presentable again since I had cried it all off after those conversations and another sweet lady stopped me and complimented the band and my voice.  She was so sweet and kind and told me I sounded like Doris Day.  She said our music was what people needed to hear and she wanted more of it.  I told her how to get our music and then quickly hugged her and slipped away before we had to be on stage again.  Little did I know the next blessing was about to come.  She walked over to our sales table and spoke with 2 of our support personnel asking about getting radio air play for our music.  She had connections to the industry and was going to do her part to make this happen.  I had no knowledge of this until after the second service -- good thing because I would have been a sure mess on that stage!

The second service was amazing!  The band sounded great and my vocals were strong -- both of which were huge answers to prayer.  I knew I was emotional and the band was nervous and I just prayed a simple prayer asking God for help and He was there -- right there with us guiding every word and note!

We were elated!  We had seen God's Hand all over the place at that wonderful church but we hadn't seen it all quite yet.  Later in the week we received an email from the pastor telling us that the folks who'd attended the banquet and services were still talking about it and he shared that about 40% of those who attended the banquet were non-members or non-attenders (not counting the band).  Of that population, a great number of them were from the Jewish community!  You all know what happened -- the tears just flowed like a river again!!  Talk about running and not growing weary!! We hadn't had much sleep, down time or rehearsals but we weren't weary -- our fuel was coming from the work and Hands of the Lord!!

Stay tuned...next time I'll tell you about driving to Miami, boarding the ship and more of God's amazing work in this journey!  He's just so great! Oh - and we'll continue the hands on experiences of Isaiah 40:31, too!!

Blessings! Amy

It sure has been a while - Glad to be back!

A friend called me a couple of weeks ago and asked, "Are you still writing your blog?" - I reluctantly said no and that I had gotten back into the world of full time working and life had just carried me out of the blog writing zone for the past year...She said, "Well, you need to get back to it -- I miss it!" -- So here I am.

I hope you are all doing well.  As of now, I'm in the last 24 hours of preparation to leave on a very unique ministry trip for the next 7 days.  I've been invited to join the Metro Big Band as their vocalist as we use our gifts and talents in the Miami/Ft. Lauderdale area and then join Dr. Gary Chapman's "Love Like You Mean It" cruise.  We will have opportunities to minister through music to the crew, along with the participants and presenters (over 2000 people) on board doing a variety of concerts and then we will also spend our day on Grand Turk doing concerts on the island for school children and in the area.  So it's going to be a very busy week but I'm so honored and excited to take part in such a unique mission trip.  

Thanks for praying as I go.  Please cover my family in prayer too as I'm away -- My mom is headed to rehab to get stronger from a recent health scare and my husband will be the single parent on deck to our furry babies...I know he will do a great job but he's not "Mom".  

Blessings!!! Amy 

2012 - It was the best of times - it was the worst of times

This morning I was contemplating the last year, trying to make some sense of it all.  Truly, the opening line of the book, "A Tale of Two Cities" describes the 2012 of my world.  The spectrum of emotions that were experienced stretched me to the brink of losing my sanity at times -- the elation of planning the trip of a lifetime to God's Holy Promised Land, Israel...to the devastation of the worst move of our lives on Christmas Eve/Christmas Day from our home of 15 years that we built, loved and sold to short sale due to this crashing economy.

2012 opened with anticipation that good things would come our way.  January brought many opportunities to sing and share my testimony across the Southeast to women's groups through Stonecroft Ministries.  Through that organization, God allowed me to be a part of seeing the lives of many women radically changed through their profession of faith as Jesus Christ became their Lord and Savior.  The entire year was spent sharing the opportunity of singing with Camp Kirkland's Celebration Orchestra in Israel as fundraisers included writing and publishing my first cookbook, selling delicious meats from a local business and selling CD's.  It was a great opportunity to meet new people and experience the generosity of those who love helping others.

Since his job loss in 2010, James was still unable to find permanent employment throughout the first quarter of 2012...our finances were so tight and yet God made a way and provided for our needs.  He lost his unemployment benefits in April due to slight increases in Alabama's unemployment rates and so he began his own lawn care and maintenance service as a full time profession.  God, again, was faithful to make a way and send clients who were faithful to hire him, pay him fairly and treat him with respect and dignity.  Of course the headaches of self-employment came with equipment breakdowns and frustrations of down time because of it.  It was a rainy summer as well, so there were days when he just couldn't work due to soggy grounds.

I usually make salsa and jellies to make extra money each year, but this year wasn't able to because my beloved stove broke down.  We didn't have the extra money to get it fixed so I learned to cook using a 2 eye hot plate, a crock pot and a toaster oven each day.  Eating out is just too expensive for this household so we made do and testing recipes is a challenge when writing a cookbook.

By summer, we were forced to put our home on the market or lose it.  We had held on for as long as we could but my sickness in 09 and James' job loss had just put us at the point where we had spent all our resources and couldn't hold on any longer.  It was gut-wrenching to make the choice to sell it or lose it...but our realtor, a godly friend encouraged us that this would bring freedom to some of the stress we'd been dealing with and help us to move forward.  We also put my mother's home on the market about the same time.  She had done all she could to stay on top of her payments but had lost her extra income in part-time retail when the economy caused the business owner to have to lay her off.  So here we were - in a place we'd never been, staring foreclosure or short sale in the face knowing that finding a place to live would be difficult being self-employed and with a serious credit hit.  Mother's home showed weekly - and when an offer came on her house we were sure it was going to meet not only her needs but would offer one of my best friends a place to live as well since she had just sold her home.  Our home didn't show right away which made us very concerned.  But when it finally did show - only 2 people came through and the 2nd person put a contract on it the day she visited for the 2nd time.  We knew it would be a short sale, but felt it was a solid offer and our mortgage company was even offering us the possibility of moving assistance should the short sale go through.  Mother's mortgage company wasn't so cooperative.  The offer on mom's house was rejected and she faced certain foreclosure - she was devastated - I found myself praying that God would at least allow me to get to Israel and back before any of this happened.  We were cruising along just fine with ours until the week before I was scheduled to leave for Israel...

The hammer fell - Wells Fargo wouldn't return my phone calls - they had rejected not only the short sale contract but had set a quick date to foreclose on our home and it was going to be the Friday before I was scheduled to leave for Israel the following Wednesday!  We were devastated.  I didn't know whether to go or stay - and felt it would be cruel to leave James here to handle not just one but two moves while I was half the world away - and yet, I knew God had provided and made a way for me to go...Thankfully, it appeared that we were going to get a contract on Mother's house so her file was re-opened and what happened in our situation was nothing short of a miracle...

I stopped by the church to drop off some cookbooks and as I was leaving my dear pastor was returning from lunch.  He asked how I was doing and I shared with him what had happened.  He told me to go immediately to speak with an attorney who he knew could help us in this situation and he was firm in saying to do so.  I asked him to pray and left to go see our realtor who had called while I was talking with my pastor.

When I got to her office she shared that the mortgage company had rejected the offer for what we felt was a bogus reason and I told her that my pastor had suggested seeing an attorney - she said that her broker had recommended the same thing and she picked up the phone to call.  He was able to see us immediately and offered an option that could literally save our home from foreclosure.  We acted quickly - and God's Hand covered the entire situation - and my only question was whether to go or stay...the attorney said I needed to go and do God's work there and not think about this stuff while I was there...

I hadn't shed a tear up until this point and when I got to my realtor's car, I broke down and sobbed.  I don't know if it was tears of relief, grief, or what...but I couldn't stop weeping.  I hadn't cried at all since March, when I was sharing my testimony and the grief over the loss of my Dad in 07 hit me -- but it was a similar cry - from deep in my heart....

A week later, I'm getting on the plane excited to go on the trip of a lifetime - to Israel - and to get to sing with an orchestra!! Cloud 9 doesn't begin to describe how I was feeling that day.  The first leg of the flight was fine - Birmingham to Atlanta -- easy up - easy down...Atlanta, however, presented with delays....many of them.  When our plane finally loaded, we were already late to get to New York for the nonstop to Tel Aviv - but a serious mechanical error caused us to have to deplane...a phone call to Camp Kirkland led to my first encounter with other Celebration Orchestra members...and an adventure began.  We sat in the terminal for what seemed like hours.  We texted and talked with the others who were already in New York waiting on us.  What started out as an exciting day quickly turned stressful and we knew we were going to be behind the others arriving at our destination.  There were 9 of us who were stuck at this point and a plane full of folks trying to get to New York...One final conversation with Camp before their flight left and we got word that President Obama had been in NYC so Air Force One had delayed all flights out of JFK - so we felt all would be well.  We were able to get a flight to New York a little later, but when we arrived there was a traffic jam on the runway and we were about 20 minutes from getting to the gate to change planes -- that 20 minutes caused us to miss our flight to Israel...we knew then that we'd have to stay overnight in NYC.  We were so sad and frustrated but the folks at the gate were kind and helpful and we stayed at a nice hotel and our meals were covered because of this little hiccup...part 1 of it.

Part 2 came the next day when we weren't able to get on the non-stop flight to Israel.  It was full so we had to reroute through other cities -- half of us went to Rome and the other half went to Brussels -- I went to Brussels...long flight, boring airport and literally no sleep at all.  We lost another day and missed not only our only rehearsal but a beach side concert as well.  We were so disappointed!  The flight from Brussels to Tel Aviv was uneventful - but cramped.  We got there early the next morning and had an hour's drive to our hotel.  We arrived around 3:30 am and knew we'd get about 2 hours sleep before a very busy Sunday would begin.

My roommate was fabulous - we became instant friends - the whole team was just wonderful and it was such a blessing to be welcomed by 40 strangers and made to feel like family within minutes of our arrival to breakfast that morning...  God blessed the day with a trip to the Boat Museum and a casual concert as well as a boat ride on the Sea of Galilee.  We were offered an opportunity to renew our commitment to Christ on that water and learned about Jesus' preaching and teaching from the boat.  It was a beautiful place to let go and release all the pain and hurt that 2012 had brought as well as begin the beautiful week that would change my life forever.

Being baptized in the Jordan River - singing concerts all over Israel, visiting historic landmarks that brought the Bible to life for me and making friends with people from all over the country/world just make my heart sing...I'll never be the same even in the midst of one of the hardest years of my life.

To get home and face the move of a lifetime - with literally no place to go brought me back to reality quickly.  The ups and downs that come with a short sale are hard to explain but because we had used an attorney to stop the foreclosure the mortgage company rejected the possibility of any moving assistance - so it became necessary to sell some of our furniture to pay for this move....and because the burden of the heavy moving would be on James his work load would be less, therefore causing less income to come into the household and business.  Thanksgiving was quiet but Mother's home foreclosed just a few days following.  Round one of moving began because she only had 10 days to leave her home.  A dear friend stored all her furnishings and our dear veterinarian is keeping her cat.  We had some amazing helpers to get her moved and she stayed at our home.  Two weeks later, our move began.  We had a delay at closing due to an error with the closing attorney which bought us a little time but would put us moving out of our home on Christmas day. We came very close to not being able to close the loan because the buyer was about to have to refile all her financials with her mortgage company which would have delayed even longer. Because it was the busiest time of the year, those who normally would have time to help us just weren't available so the burden of the move fell on mine and James' shoulders.  When friends are scarce and family doesn't appear to have any interest, it's easy for Satan to get a hold of your mind.  It's easy to feel like no one cares and it's easy to feel resentful and hurt when none is intended.  That battle can be exhausting on its own but compounded with the stress of not knowing whether the closing will even take place or where you'll be going makes for many sleepless nights.


 We had gotten so excited about our new place!  Just a few weeks prior to all this,we found what seemed to be a perfect home nestled on 6 beautiful acres and the owners were in retired in ministry so we felt they could be trusted to be fair with us and up until we were ready to sign the papers they were...but the Friday before we were supposed to start moving, we were in town to sign the papers, and found out that the home had sold out from under us...they had taken an offer to sell over the option they'd agreed to with us on a lease/purchase and we found ourselves facing a move with no place to go.  We were devastated, yet again, to say the least!

I prayed for a mild winter and God has been faithful.  Most of you have read about my 365 convertible and that the top won't go up on it - so driving in cold temps or rain can bring a few strange looks -- I'm kind of used to that anyway - but nonetheless - it's just one more thing.  Well, thankfully we were able to use it to pack and move things as well as get boxes, boxes and more boxes...

Our move started the week before Christmas.  We worked long days EVERY day getting the rest of our things packed and organized (I'd been packing since August) and had moved my best friend's home, my mom's home and now ours.  We were able to borrow a van from a local realtor who was kind enough to let us use it to move my mom but it was reserved for the time our move would take place so we had to find another way.  A dear and precious brother in Christ, offered 2 covered trailers for us to use as well as warehouse space if we needed it....and we certainly did!  I never imagined the amount of "stuff" that would collect over the course of 15 years in one home by 2 people!  We were blessed by a couple of professional movers (also friends) who moved the bulk of the furniture for us while James ran sound for the children's musical at church.  This same dear brother who loaned his trailers helped the day before to load one trailer full of boxes...up and down stairs all day long...that's a real and true friend!

On Sunday before Christmas, we decided to rent a small uHaul van to get the rest, thinking we wouldn't have to make many trips...Christmas Eve was fast approaching and James and I sensed that we wouldn't be sleeping at all.  A 24 hour stint of moving was what it would take to get everything out by our 10 am Christmas day deadline.    A dear and precious friend had graciously offered her home to us to stay over the holidays because we hadn't found a place to land permanently.  James had a couple of guys over to help move most of the heavy stuff the day before but what was left was time consuming and seemed unending.  Christmas Eve day had delay written all over it.  Mom and I had stayed at the friend's home the night before so the mattresses could be moved.  James stayed with the animals on one remaining mattress so he could get up early and get started while Mom and I ran a few errands that had to be done prior to the holiday store closings.  Traffic was bad and people moved slowly and her car was acting up.  We finally got to the house mid-morning and it seemed everything was just moving in slow motion.  We worked all day without a break and decided to take a quick break to eat supper and take Mom home - at 83 she had worked until she was just about to pass out and it would have been cruel to ask her to do any more.  I dropped her off and met James at the warehouse to unload after we ate supper.  This truckload had heavy stuff but nothing like what was to come later.

He and I spent over an hour unloading and then hurried back to load again.  This time we loaded 2 huge workbenches that my Dad had given to James - they were made of pressure treated lumber so you can imagine how heavy they were.  We also loaded leftover tile, granite and metal shelving that had held items in the garage.  Remaining furniture, tool bins and lawn equipment went in this load too and it had begun to get really cold.  I was having trouble standing up straight and by this time it was approaching around 9 or 10pm.  We decided to take this load even though the truck wasn't loaded to the brim - we knew it would take a long time to unload it since it was just the 2 of us...we were both approaching exhaustion by this point.  It took us over an hour to unload and my back was screaming in pain.  My spirit was so heavy and I felt as if God had completely abandoned us at this point and I found myself silently weeping in prayer begging God to send help our way.

James had gotten hungry and knew we would be really late working on the next load so he suggested we grab a quick bite to eat at Waffle House - we were hopeful that no one we knew would be there because we looked and felt so bad.  We drove by 2 churches on our way and one was lit up with candles for a late night service and it made me sad to think that we wouldn't be celebrating Christmas in a traditional manner.  I hadn't been directly involved in any Christmas music, parties or anything and just felt completely out of touch with all of it. Our waitress was such a blessing.  She was so kind and friendly and made us feel like her only customers.  We sat there long enough to get stiff so leaving was comical at best.  People stared but it was Waffle House - so really who cares?

Going back home to load again was something we both dreaded...we couldn't see an end in site but knew it had to be done.  It was cold and damp and our sweet dog and cats had followed us every single step of the way.  They were just exhausted and it broke our hearts to see their loyalty and love.  They seemed to understand that what we were doing was hard but we could tell they wondered if they fit into the picture somehow.  They are such a blessing and their unconditional love and constant joy got us through this hard night.  We got back to work and every box seemed heavier and every item seemed less important.  We waited to load some of the pictures and art work because I worried that it would get damaged but this time we just had to bite the bullet and get it done.  Again, my heart was crying out to God to give us some relief and I just felt completely dark and abandoned inside...I can't explain it other than to say that I just felt as if the world had turned its back on us and we were facing this horror completely alone...it was awful.

We finished  this truckload at around 2 am.  We headed to the warehouse to unload and I took a load in the car.  It was freezing and my hands were numb.  James was just dragging.  How he found strength to go on was something I just couldn't understand.  He was amazing.  Arriving at the warehouse it was so quiet - almost haunting.  We moved a little slower this time but when we finished we walked outside and it was spitting snow.  James told me to go ahead and head back and he would lock the gate.  So I left thinking he was right behind me.  When I came to the 4 way stop I noticed a policeman was patrolling the area and my heart sank.  What in the world would he think of a lone driver in a car and a lone driver in a uhaul pulling out of a warehouse at 3 am on Christmas morning?!?  This wasn't going to be good at all.  I thought he might stop me but he didn't - he just stared and kept driving.  I guess he thought I was helping Santa.  I got back home and when James didn't come, I just had a sinking feeling something had happened so I called.  Sure enough, the cop had stopped him as he was pulling out of the warehouse driveway.  He asked if James still lived at our current address after James had bared his soul identifying the warehouse owner and why he was there.  James replied, sir, I do still live there until 10 this morning and that is why I am working all night on Christmas.  The policeman let him go - and James was able to get back home -- sigh of relief!

So we thought we had about 1 more load - not so.  2 more loads were left and we still had more stuff.  It wasn't incredibly important, but nonetheless, we couldn't leave it for the new owner so it had to be done.  Again, I was begging God not to leave us alone in this and was about to cry again.  James and I were hurting badly by this time and the animals were sleeping.  We kept working but it was slower and slower.  At around 8 am or so, one of our neighbors and long time friends drove by and stopped.  He walked up and hugged me and apologized for not coming by sooner.  He asked if he could help in any way and if it would help if we stored anything at his home in the basement.  We told him our situation and what was going down and he left to go get his son's truck and headed back.  About 10 minutes later, his sweet wife came in and offered to help as well as their sweet daughter.  We had clothes and a few items in the attic left.  My strength was gone but their fresh energy gave us the strength to go on.  In record time the rest of the stuff was at least out of the house and into the garage, on the back porch or ready to be loaded on the truck.

At that point it was getting very close to 10 am.  Our realtor had been trying to reach us to let us know they were coming and wanted to know how close we were to being out.  Our cats had disappeared in all the rush and we were trying to get everything loaded and out of there.  At 10 on the dot, the new owner and her fiance' walked up the driveway.  We were getting the last of our things loaded and I explained what had happened.  The new owner was kind but the fiance' was aloof and seemed not to care.  I was so tired at that point that I probably misread him but we had done all we could...and God had heard and answered our prayers by sending these dear friends in the nick of time.

We continued to work and it began to rain.  All the stuff was out of there but the cats hadn't come back around.  Suddenly, out of the woods, my little Mildred came running up.  She was hungry and cold and let me pick her up even though she was scared to death.  Evelyn was no where to be found and I feared the worst had happened - either she had run away in all the chaos or was hiding in the attic so afraid to come down and with the new people there she might not ever come down and would just die up there from hunger and from being so afraid.  My heart sank.  I didn't want to leave her but I didn't know what else to do.

James told me to take the others with me and we'd come back later to see if we could find her.  The new owner said she would watch out for her and would call if she saw her (I knew she'd be busy and wouldn't do that, but I appreciated her kindness).  I cried all the way home.  I had promised Evelyn I wouldn't leave her and I felt as though I was abandoning one of my children.  I wept.  Mildred cried too.  It was awful.

We got back to the "borrowed home" and out of our wet clothes and sat down to rest a while.  I ended up crying myself to sleep and Mildred stayed right by my side.  Our little dog, Cash, was sad too and slept right by James all afternoon.  We felt like we had been run over by a train, but that pain was nothing compared to the heartbreak we felt at leaving our beloved cat in the rain and cold or stuck in the attic with strangers in her house...the unknown of that was gut wrenching.

We went back to get some clothes at our neighbor's home a little later and decided to see if we could find Evelyn.  The rain was torrential at this time but it didn't matter.  I was a "Mom on a mission" and I was going to find my baby if it killed me.  We stood outside in the rain calling Evelyn and caught a glimpse of her at our old house.  She could hear us but couldn't find us and was so scared and wet.  James walked over to her but his umbrella scared her and she ran into the woods.  He disappeared to the back of the house and suddenly a flash of lightning hit just near where I thought he was.  At that point, I cried out to God again, please don't take my husband too!  I screamed for James and he came back around the house and said that lightning was just a little too close for comfort.  He went into our neighbor's home and I stayed outside to look for her.  When the rain slacked, I walked over to call her, thinking I had seen her. But it was only raindrops reflecting in the light...my heart was just broken.

We left again and I cried all the way home...just knowing we would never see her again.  Evelyn was a shelter cat and a stray before she came to the shelter so she has enough feral cat in her to do something like that.  We left some food in our neighbor's garage for her in a familiar bowl, hoping that she'd smell it and our scent and know that we didn't forget her.  I prayed all the way home too...It had been the worst Christmas ever and nearly losing James to lightning and being unsure of Evelyn's location or whether we'd ever get her back were the tip of the iceberg.

When we got home, I just went to bed.  I was exhausted, drenched from head to toe and heartbroken.  My body hurt everywhere but especially my heart. Sleep was fitful and leg cramps came often.   I had read Scripture desperately trying to find hope and encouragement, I had read posts from my friends hoping they would post a verse that offered something encouraging...God seemed so distant even in the glowing lights of the tree our friend had put up for us to enjoy.  Her gift was a sign that said, "Our God is an Awesome God" and I believe that, but I felt that He had other things pressing that kept Him from attending to our needs all the while knowing that it was only God that could make this better. I finally drifted off for a couple of hours while charging my phone.

About 6:30 the next morning, I was wide awake and turned on my phone.  About that time a text message came through and it was from our neighbor, telling me that our sweet Evelyn was safe in her garage and that she had eaten and was sleeping in her attic.  She wanted me to know that she had to go to work but would leave the door open for me to come and get her.  My spirit lifted and in my mind I jumped up to get dressed to go get my baby girl.  (I moved slowly, groaned deeply as I pulled on my jeans) but in my mind I was leaping.  God had answered my prayer and had brought my baby home.  I couldn't wait to go and get her!  I decided to surprise James and Mom by not telling them and thought I'd be back before either of them awakened...I should have known...

Going to pick Evelyn up in a car that was low on fuel should have been a simple process - I had $10 in my pocket and could get a couple of gallons and then be on my way...but Mom's car acted up and kept stalling out every time I got my speed up past 40 mph.  I was about 3 miles from my neighbor's home when she called to see if I was still coming.  I told her I was five minutes which turned into 10.  When I got on the road to her house, the car stalled twice!  I thought I would never get there - less than a mile and I couldn't get to my baby...

Finally, when I drove in at her house she had left the door cracked but I couldn't get her to the door.  I went in and it scared her - but we went into the garage and climbed into the attic and there she was, my beautiful Evelyn.  She looked at me long and hard and then walked away.  She didn't want to have anything to do with me.  We waited and talked a little while she did her thing. Phyllis had to go to work so she left the attic and me with treats for my Evelyn.  I asked her if she wanted some and she walked slowly over to where I was.  I caught my breath.  I was so close to having her back and taking her home with me.  When she got close I picked her up and she struggled to get away.  She was angry and hurt and didn't understand.  I felt it - I knew I had broken her heart.  Those of you who don't believe animals have emotions are wrong.  This sweet cat was cold and afraid and knew that her mom had left her like that...

Phyllis heard me and came back up and got her from me and took her back down from the attic while I slowly came down (remember I was still stiff and sore from the move)...  She held her while I got down and it seemed to calm her some.  We put the attic stairs back up when I got down so she wouldn't run back up if she got away.  Phyllis held her until we got her into the crate to go home.  I was so relieved but my heart was pounding...

At that point the journey home began and Evelyn seemed content to be in a warm car, safe crate and happy to be with me.  The car stalled out several times on the way home and by that time, James had sent me a text asking what was going on.  I told him and he asked if he needed to come and get us.  I stopped and let the car rest at Sonic while I got some tea for us.  I felt like everything would be ok by then.  It was and we got home safely.  What a homecoming it was!  Mom had cooked a wonderful breakfast and we all shed tears of joy at having our family complete once again...prayers of thankfulness were offered and we rested with grateful hearts all day long...and have since.

I am grateful for the place to stay because of the unselfishness of dear friends.  I'm grateful that my family is together and that we are safe and warm and not hungry.  I'm grateful to have seen Bethlehem and where Jesus was born as well as where He was crucified, buried and rose again.  I'm grateful to have walked where He walked and experienced the bodies of water He created and experienced.  But there's something about being home - especially around special holidays like Christmas and New Year's.  I knew in 2009 that God was going to force me to face my greatest fear of being homeless.  I begged him not to, but even in Israel, I knew the process was inevitable.  I don't know why He wanted me to face this or why James and Mom had to go through it too, but I imagine it was a stronghold for them too.

At one point during the moving process, I posted a thought on Facebook about living in "borrowed housing" and how strange it felt even though I am deeply grateful for it. The Holy Spirit spoke to me that while Jesus was here on earth he was not only born in a borrowed manger but he also died and was buried in a borrowed tomb.  That was perspective gained from Scripture I've read many times.  Perhaps it's part of the purpose of the trip to Israel, facing homelessness and experiencing the generosity of friends in situations like this that have given more feet to our faith.  Maybe it's the beginning of a book that I'll write so that people will understand that mature, grounded Christians who are well educated and appear to have it all together have bad things happen too.  Rose garden faith is shallow and unrealistic.  If Jesus was tempted, we are tempted.  If Jesus suffered, we will suffer.  If Jesus lived in borrowed housing, at some point in our lives we all will live in borrowed housing too - your story may not be like mine but you will grow old and likely live with your children or in a nursing home.  You may lose your job and need to rent rather than own your home.  You may be in the military and live in government owned housing...but if you are a believer, regardless of your home ownership, in reality, this isn't our home -- we all live in borrowed housing.  Heaven is our Home.

What I learned in Israel is that we over-complicate Jesus' teachings.  He was practical and used examples to teach his people that they would understand and that we can understand too.  We over-complicate Christianity too.  We place a lot of rules, a lot of expectations and a lot of unrealistic spirituality on ourselves and others when Jesus simply told us to love Him above all things and love our neighbors as ourselves.  He told us to seek Him first, to pray and earnestly seek Him to find Him.

What I've learned through this move is that sometimes God allows us to get to the edge of a cliff or the end of our rope so that we can truly see what we're made of and just how much we will trust Him.  Sometimes, He lets us live with our "stuff" until we are sick of it so we will turn loose of it willingly.  Sometimes, He doesn't answer because the test is if we will just believe even if He doesn't answer.  That's the hard one.

Like Job, I cried out and begged God to just kill me and take me home.  Like Moses, I got angry because things weren't going my way.  Like Abraham, I was afraid.  Like David, I've felt very alone and abandoned.  But deep within me was a cry that only God could hear.  There were no words that man could hear only groanings coming from deep in my soul.

This story isn't over.  Yesterday, December 31st my Mom's car completely stalled out when she and James were trying to get to the bank.  Once again, a friend came to the rescue.  Today, we are in deep need of a financial miracle to pay our bills and a permanent home to live in...

My prayer is that 2013 will bring an end to this season of wilderness dwelling and that we'll be moved into greener pastures very soon.

I hope that those of you who have read this don't feel as though I just needed to vent and tell my troubles because you've missed the point if you do.  I didn't write this to whine - as I said at the beginning, I was just thinking over the vast contrasts of highs and lows that 2012 brought my way and decided to write it on here in the hopes that it might encourage someone else who may be dealing with similar circumstances or vasts contrasts as well and trying to make sense of it.

The truth is, if I tried to make sense of all this, I could spend an eternity doing so - I don't think that would honor God.  I believe He just took us to a place where we had no other choice but to trust Him to get us through -- not man, not self, not money, not resources -- simply God.

Faithful living ain't for sissies and I ain't no sissy even though sometimes I want to be one....Be blessed in the name of Jesus!  Happy New Year!! Amy